Another column is abuzz with Henson outrage , yes it even show pics. Different pics from what were removed from the Bill Henson exhibition recently which was of a young teenage girl naked.
This selection still shows a young character and he is not wearing clothes. I think it is also shamefully aimed at young people and the dim lighting is meant to be suggesting erotica. I thinks we should be thinking long and hard about the implications on this on our society.
Simply because some creatures has fur and some does not have so much (different degrees of hairiness on different humans) well is that a reason that nudity is more or less moral on some critters than others? I ask you?
In fact some would say that certain hair on humans should be well covered up, the more hair the more cover please.
Tuesday, 27 May 2008
Monday, 26 May 2008
Birthday Suit Flight Cancelled
What next?
Well actually it wil not happen next because it got cancelled and thank goodness for that.
But a German Flight company, OssiUrlaub.de, was offering its customers a nudist flight to a Baltic Sea Island .
If you ask me it do not matter where it were going it is still wrong. Though of course if it were to somewhere like Antarctica the nudists might not be solured. Nudists are exhibitionists, filthy exhibitionists but they is also human. they likes their comfort and they wishes to keep warm not have their skins shrivelled off. there is also the shrinkage factor and I thinks some men can be quite vain.
Anyhows it was to be cancelled. The rules were, clothes on the flight, then strip. I is not sure if the air hostesses were in their birthday suits too.
I thinks it is also a bit unsafe. I find those seatbelts hard to do up, they could get caught on some delicate bits.
And it do bring a whole new meaning to talking about the pilot in the cockpit.
I thinks it is very disgusting and it is best to have everyone robed up to avoid such things. Such innuendo. I suppose the only good bit is it may be more difficult to smuggle stuff like drugs into the Baltic Sea Island strapped to your body under your coat because you is not wearing any coat.
But then if you were a good person you would not be smuggling any drugs.
Or going naked on flights at all!
Well actually it wil not happen next because it got cancelled and thank goodness for that.
But a German Flight company, OssiUrlaub.de, was offering its customers a nudist flight to a Baltic Sea Island .
If you ask me it do not matter where it were going it is still wrong. Though of course if it were to somewhere like Antarctica the nudists might not be solured. Nudists are exhibitionists, filthy exhibitionists but they is also human. they likes their comfort and they wishes to keep warm not have their skins shrivelled off. there is also the shrinkage factor and I thinks some men can be quite vain.
Anyhows it was to be cancelled. The rules were, clothes on the flight, then strip. I is not sure if the air hostesses were in their birthday suits too.
I thinks it is also a bit unsafe. I find those seatbelts hard to do up, they could get caught on some delicate bits.
And it do bring a whole new meaning to talking about the pilot in the cockpit.
I thinks it is very disgusting and it is best to have everyone robed up to avoid such things. Such innuendo. I suppose the only good bit is it may be more difficult to smuggle stuff like drugs into the Baltic Sea Island strapped to your body under your coat because you is not wearing any coat.
But then if you were a good person you would not be smuggling any drugs.
Or going naked on flights at all!
Porn by any other name still do not look like art
I know I know.
I has heard you crying out for it.
"Prudey why has you not jumped ont he bandwagon with all the others and hopped up and down and got mad at this filthy exhibition by Bill Henson which show a young teenage girl in the ... well not in anything which is the scandalous bit?"
Well I can say I has been very satisfied to see that some moral peoples has been jumping up and down and doing their moral bit and calling this exhibition for what it is.
Child porn.
It is not art.
It is child porn.
Do not hide behind the word "art". I sees you is not giving the girl much to hide behind so why try a trick like hiding behind something yourself?
Fortunately the police has seized the pics and I am satisfied that charges will be laid and hopefully there wil be a public stoning. Or something like that. I do not see why some people can takes lots of pics of a young girl in the nuddy and then walk away unscathed. It is wrong. It matters not that she say she gave permission. She cannot know what she was thinking. Many Children's rights Activists have rightly pointed out that a girl may give permission now but later look back at her childhood with regret and think "Oh no I did a bad thing" and then that is not good that would scar her. I agree completely.
She will look back on her life and think it is wrong, just like many girls who have not lived Prude's way in their life may do so.
Of course if you had been living Prude's way in their teenage lives they would be looking back at their lives and saying hip hip hooray for me I was a good moral person no regrets.
So there is a big difference who should be able to say which is the best way to live as a teenager.
And that person should not be Bill Henson.
It is the person who can make decisions where the teenager would not have regrets of course.
I thinks you is knowing who we is talking about.
I has heard you crying out for it.
"Prudey why has you not jumped ont he bandwagon with all the others and hopped up and down and got mad at this filthy exhibition by Bill Henson which show a young teenage girl in the ... well not in anything which is the scandalous bit?"
Well I can say I has been very satisfied to see that some moral peoples has been jumping up and down and doing their moral bit and calling this exhibition for what it is.
Child porn.
It is not art.
It is child porn.
Do not hide behind the word "art". I sees you is not giving the girl much to hide behind so why try a trick like hiding behind something yourself?
Fortunately the police has seized the pics and I am satisfied that charges will be laid and hopefully there wil be a public stoning. Or something like that. I do not see why some people can takes lots of pics of a young girl in the nuddy and then walk away unscathed. It is wrong. It matters not that she say she gave permission. She cannot know what she was thinking. Many Children's rights Activists have rightly pointed out that a girl may give permission now but later look back at her childhood with regret and think "Oh no I did a bad thing" and then that is not good that would scar her. I agree completely.
She will look back on her life and think it is wrong, just like many girls who have not lived Prude's way in their life may do so.
Of course if you had been living Prude's way in their teenage lives they would be looking back at their lives and saying hip hip hooray for me I was a good moral person no regrets.
So there is a big difference who should be able to say which is the best way to live as a teenager.
And that person should not be Bill Henson.
It is the person who can make decisions where the teenager would not have regrets of course.
I thinks you is knowing who we is talking about.
Sunday, 11 May 2008
Now she's done it! And she'd do it again!
A teacher says she would flaunt her naughty bits again.
It has come to a sad time in our society when a primary school teacher, a moral compass for our young minds, has not only NOT repented for flaunting her naughty bits once, but has said she will do it again.
I hopes this is not meant to be an arithmetic lesson and she is teaching the kiddies to count to ten. Flaunt one, Flaunt two and so on. I think the old use your fingers to teach or maybe counters on a string would work just fine. I is not going in for these modern sensationalist methods.
Furthermore she pose naked in a magazine Cleo with her husband talking about their sex lives.
Well that is the end. Little kiddies do not needs to know about sex. It is quite sufficient for them to learn about the Good Fairy Penguin who bestow upon you a little baby if youse wish for one very hard and is good. And then this also mean she encourage her husband to show his tiddlywinks too, and everyone know that a man's tiddlywinks is much more ... let us say SEEABLE than a lady's.
So it is even worse.
And then even endorsing that rag Cleo. And you think you has not breached an ethical code of conduct? I fear for you!
No it is not right at all. I for one would make sure children is never seeing nakedness. There ought to be a rule that when they prepares for a bath it ought to be a bubble one, they is to close their eyes when they is undressed, then you whisk them under the bubbles quick before they is allowed to open their eyes so they don't get a look. Preserve their innocence.
Oh and don't let this lady teacher persuade you otherwise. Would you rather your child be a believer or a streaker? A member of the Prude fold or a centrefold?
I knows you will choose wisely.
It has come to a sad time in our society when a primary school teacher, a moral compass for our young minds, has not only NOT repented for flaunting her naughty bits once, but has said she will do it again.
I hopes this is not meant to be an arithmetic lesson and she is teaching the kiddies to count to ten. Flaunt one, Flaunt two and so on. I think the old use your fingers to teach or maybe counters on a string would work just fine. I is not going in for these modern sensationalist methods.
Furthermore she pose naked in a magazine Cleo with her husband talking about their sex lives.
Well that is the end. Little kiddies do not needs to know about sex. It is quite sufficient for them to learn about the Good Fairy Penguin who bestow upon you a little baby if youse wish for one very hard and is good. And then this also mean she encourage her husband to show his tiddlywinks too, and everyone know that a man's tiddlywinks is much more ... let us say SEEABLE than a lady's.
So it is even worse.
And then even endorsing that rag Cleo. And you think you has not breached an ethical code of conduct? I fear for you!
No it is not right at all. I for one would make sure children is never seeing nakedness. There ought to be a rule that when they prepares for a bath it ought to be a bubble one, they is to close their eyes when they is undressed, then you whisk them under the bubbles quick before they is allowed to open their eyes so they don't get a look. Preserve their innocence.
Oh and don't let this lady teacher persuade you otherwise. Would you rather your child be a believer or a streaker? A member of the Prude fold or a centrefold?
I knows you will choose wisely.
Monday, 28 April 2008
World Penguin Day - same day as ANZAC Day!
I has been reliably informed that World Penguin Day occurs on or around each year, April 25th. Though some people celebrate it on Penguin Awareness Day in January 20th.
And in New Orleans they celebrated it on March 22nd, for some reason.
But most people celebrate it on April 25th.
Maybe there is some confusion and dissent because there are so many penguins around making their mark in the world? I hopes it settles down a bit, for if there is one thing Penguins advocate (as well as chastity and dignity) it is peace and harmony.
This is (April 25th), incidentally, the same day as ANZAC Day in Australia. So it is an EXTRASPECIAL DAY.
On ANZAC Day Australians observe a minute's silence for their troops, sometimes longer than that if they can think up lots of troops.
I would recommend perhaps also thinking about penguins and prudeness then.
Take some extra time, maybe five minutes if you wish so you have time to pay your respects to both the troops and to the Penguins, after all both is very important to Australians or should be. They has given us lots of culture. Who could forget Gallipoli, but then again who could forget Nicole Kidman in Happy Feet?
It is an important day for us all.
Lest we forget.
What did you do on World Penguin Day?
And in New Orleans they celebrated it on March 22nd, for some reason.
But most people celebrate it on April 25th.
Maybe there is some confusion and dissent because there are so many penguins around making their mark in the world? I hopes it settles down a bit, for if there is one thing Penguins advocate (as well as chastity and dignity) it is peace and harmony.
This is (April 25th), incidentally, the same day as ANZAC Day in Australia. So it is an EXTRASPECIAL DAY.
On ANZAC Day Australians observe a minute's silence for their troops, sometimes longer than that if they can think up lots of troops.
I would recommend perhaps also thinking about penguins and prudeness then.
Take some extra time, maybe five minutes if you wish so you have time to pay your respects to both the troops and to the Penguins, after all both is very important to Australians or should be. They has given us lots of culture. Who could forget Gallipoli, but then again who could forget Nicole Kidman in Happy Feet?
It is an important day for us all.
Lest we forget.
What did you do on World Penguin Day?
Tuesday, 22 April 2008
No Big Bazookas for Little Girls
In NSW they is overhauling the rules so little girls cannot overhaul their breasts too soon.
High time I say.
They is trying to make rules so that teenage girls cannot get breast implants and other plastic surgery which many do to makes themselves look sexy. They wish to make sure they are older before they make the decision.
I think it is a good thing. Young girls now is too sex-obsessed, and if they is having big boobs, then it will get them into trouble and I is not talking about difficulty in walking down narrow corridors though that is a concern too. I means if you look on the link I provide too many men is going on about how women should be allowed to do it because they (the men) thinks it looks desirable. Men. All they is thinking about is their own eye candy. It is very selfish.
But what about the important issues, like the girl's virginity which is of course at stake if the girl become very hot looking and of course must be protected if she is to be a pure and moral and dignified creature?
In fact why wait just til they is 18?
18 is too provocative, they is still bait at 18.
Perhaps it should be made law that noone should be allowed breast enhancements til they is truly past it and even with big breasts they woulds not be alluring to anyone then your sex is not in danger.
For instance if you is dog ugly or you is old and wrinkly.
If you has got a certificate saying you is allowed a breast implant you is knowing you fall into this category and no one - well at least 99% of people is not lookiing at you with any sexual desire and wouldn't even if you had thouasnds of dollars of reconstruction.
Then you can do as you please.
It is an idea. I might present it to be tabled.
High time I say.
They is trying to make rules so that teenage girls cannot get breast implants and other plastic surgery which many do to makes themselves look sexy. They wish to make sure they are older before they make the decision.
I think it is a good thing. Young girls now is too sex-obsessed, and if they is having big boobs, then it will get them into trouble and I is not talking about difficulty in walking down narrow corridors though that is a concern too. I means if you look on the link I provide too many men is going on about how women should be allowed to do it because they (the men) thinks it looks desirable. Men. All they is thinking about is their own eye candy. It is very selfish.
But what about the important issues, like the girl's virginity which is of course at stake if the girl become very hot looking and of course must be protected if she is to be a pure and moral and dignified creature?
In fact why wait just til they is 18?
18 is too provocative, they is still bait at 18.
Perhaps it should be made law that noone should be allowed breast enhancements til they is truly past it and even with big breasts they woulds not be alluring to anyone then your sex is not in danger.
For instance if you is dog ugly or you is old and wrinkly.
If you has got a certificate saying you is allowed a breast implant you is knowing you fall into this category and no one - well at least 99% of people is not lookiing at you with any sexual desire and wouldn't even if you had thouasnds of dollars of reconstruction.
Then you can do as you please.
It is an idea. I might present it to be tabled.
Purity Balls and Prudity Balls
Now has you heard of the craze of the Purity Ball ? Apparently it is not new but I has only recently heard of it. Usually the words "purity" and "balls" don't sit too well together with me, but then I heard this was balls as in dance and Prudey here is all for dancing. So I investigated a little further.
Apparently it is a formal event held by God-loving folks where fathers take a pledge before God to protect daughters from impure things (i.e. protect her from SEX) and girls promise to remain virgins til marriage.
They also gets to dance a bit and I would say probably have fruity drinks.
There has been some criticism that it takes the power of sex away from the girls and makes it a man's property like the fathers, and then her husband's. Also it focus on sex a lot. But I guess this is the price you pay for virginity in this crazy world.
Many evangelical Christians is very much into it because it bring virginity back as an important issue, and also there is a lot of opportunity for dancing.
I would say for Prudey they is very important things.
However I read a bit more about this and a Good Weekend article said that stats on Purity Balls said heaps of girls after their Purity Ball had sex within 3 years!
88% had sex before they was married!
Now they might as well not have bothered! I thinks if you is making a promise you ought not just make it for a bit of the penguin bop and the promise of a fruity drink and a cupcake! That is MOST immoral.
People is just not serious today about their pledges. They has not got the willpower. And willpower is what really matters.
Myself, I would like to hold Prudity Balls. I would like to get together new recruits to pledge they would be true to Prude's Mission.
Chastity and Dignity and Kindness to Penguins!
However you has to be truly committed. None of this half-hearted I is there for the eatables stuff. No way.
Only Real Prudes need don their penguin suits and make their way to the ballroom floor!
Apparently it is a formal event held by God-loving folks where fathers take a pledge before God to protect daughters from impure things (i.e. protect her from SEX) and girls promise to remain virgins til marriage.
They also gets to dance a bit and I would say probably have fruity drinks.
There has been some criticism that it takes the power of sex away from the girls and makes it a man's property like the fathers, and then her husband's. Also it focus on sex a lot. But I guess this is the price you pay for virginity in this crazy world.
Many evangelical Christians is very much into it because it bring virginity back as an important issue, and also there is a lot of opportunity for dancing.
I would say for Prudey they is very important things.
However I read a bit more about this and a Good Weekend article said that stats on Purity Balls said heaps of girls after their Purity Ball had sex within 3 years!
88% had sex before they was married!
Now they might as well not have bothered! I thinks if you is making a promise you ought not just make it for a bit of the penguin bop and the promise of a fruity drink and a cupcake! That is MOST immoral.
People is just not serious today about their pledges. They has not got the willpower. And willpower is what really matters.
Myself, I would like to hold Prudity Balls. I would like to get together new recruits to pledge they would be true to Prude's Mission.
Chastity and Dignity and Kindness to Penguins!
However you has to be truly committed. None of this half-hearted I is there for the eatables stuff. No way.
Only Real Prudes need don their penguin suits and make their way to the ballroom floor!
Tuesday, 15 April 2008
These people read too much Virginia Andrews
Possibly you has never read a Virginia Andrews novel. If you has never, you is lucky. Don't.
The biggest theme is incest is great if you like each other. Oh, I guess she forgot it is illegal, disgusting, perverted, immoral and can lead to DEFORMITIES. And it make Prude chuck up into a toilet every time she even hear about it.
OK, I is back.
Anyhow, I thinks some South Australians maybe haven't got that message yet, or maybe have read a Virginia Andrews one too many.
Because this father-daughter union is just plain pukable . Oh whoopee they has had a child together. Probably one who will be brought up on Flowers in the Attic and other stuff instead of good honourable books. I feel for the child. John and Jenny Deaves have done the dirty against the laws of society. And I is not talking about the fact they could both spare a few kilos either.
Jenny Deaves said after she met her father (they was separated for a while because she comes from a BROKEN HOME - see what the malaise of society has done!) she said to herself "he's not too bad" and that's how the relationship began.
Oh funny I thinks to myself some things are not too bad too, but that does not mean I break the law and procreate with them!
Mr Deaves say: "I knew it was illegal, of course I knew it was illegal but you know, so what."
So everything, immoral person!
It is these kinds of people that can almost make a person waver from their mission! The path to prudism is littered with trash ...
The biggest theme is incest is great if you like each other. Oh, I guess she forgot it is illegal, disgusting, perverted, immoral and can lead to DEFORMITIES. And it make Prude chuck up into a toilet every time she even hear about it.
OK, I is back.
Anyhow, I thinks some South Australians maybe haven't got that message yet, or maybe have read a Virginia Andrews one too many.
Because this father-daughter union is just plain pukable . Oh whoopee they has had a child together. Probably one who will be brought up on Flowers in the Attic and other stuff instead of good honourable books. I feel for the child. John and Jenny Deaves have done the dirty against the laws of society. And I is not talking about the fact they could both spare a few kilos either.
Jenny Deaves said after she met her father (they was separated for a while because she comes from a BROKEN HOME - see what the malaise of society has done!) she said to herself "he's not too bad" and that's how the relationship began.
Oh funny I thinks to myself some things are not too bad too, but that does not mean I break the law and procreate with them!
Mr Deaves say: "I knew it was illegal, of course I knew it was illegal but you know, so what."
So everything, immoral person!
It is these kinds of people that can almost make a person waver from their mission! The path to prudism is littered with trash ...
Milly give me the Willies!
Well they say politics is a dirty, ugly game, but I thought it were supposed to have at least a veneer of conservatism and propriety. No longer it seems! I has seen this disgrace of a Milly D'Abraccio heading into Italian politics . How dare she think to represent the people - she a porn star!
Now, it is my understanding that politicians would have to at least to pretend to tackle issues such as health and eductaion and families. And we is supposed to respect them. But how can we expect to respect such a lady - well FEMALE - well DISCGRACE TO HER GENDER - who is openly flaunting her job that was to make men feel improper feelings and promote a very unchaste activity? I tells you!
It cannot be for the good of the peoples. It would dirty their minds.
Indeed, I would say that Milly, simply by running is adding to pollution in Italy already. That cannot be good for a country.
If her hospital policy was to add more beds, you would always be asking yourself "What is those beds FOR?" If it was more books for schools, you would be quaking in fear as to the content of those books. I tells you, a politician who brings such fear into lives should be not allowed even to put her name on the ballot just in case someone's hand slips and accidentally marks her name and she accidentally gets voted in (because no one, I is sure, would vote her in on purpose. I shudder at the thoughts)
But - well, she is certainly not into a "no butts" campaign as she shows hers everywhere. Really, you ought to draw the line somewhere, and hopefully peoples is not thinking of a pantyline or bumcrack line as I say that.
Pull your pants up, Milly, and lift your game!
What's more, D'Abbraccio wants to create a red light area with strip clubs, erotic discos and sex shops called Love City just kilometres away from the Vatican.
How low cans you get? True love is not about this.
And what a way to run a city.
I can only say I hopes she does not win and has to get an HONEST job like the rest of us!
Now, it is my understanding that politicians would have to at least to pretend to tackle issues such as health and eductaion and families. And we is supposed to respect them. But how can we expect to respect such a lady - well FEMALE - well DISCGRACE TO HER GENDER - who is openly flaunting her job that was to make men feel improper feelings and promote a very unchaste activity? I tells you!
It cannot be for the good of the peoples. It would dirty their minds.
Indeed, I would say that Milly, simply by running is adding to pollution in Italy already. That cannot be good for a country.
If her hospital policy was to add more beds, you would always be asking yourself "What is those beds FOR?" If it was more books for schools, you would be quaking in fear as to the content of those books. I tells you, a politician who brings such fear into lives should be not allowed even to put her name on the ballot just in case someone's hand slips and accidentally marks her name and she accidentally gets voted in (because no one, I is sure, would vote her in on purpose. I shudder at the thoughts)
But - well, she is certainly not into a "no butts" campaign as she shows hers everywhere. Really, you ought to draw the line somewhere, and hopefully peoples is not thinking of a pantyline or bumcrack line as I say that.
Pull your pants up, Milly, and lift your game!
What's more, D'Abbraccio wants to create a red light area with strip clubs, erotic discos and sex shops called Love City just kilometres away from the Vatican.
How low cans you get? True love is not about this.
And what a way to run a city.
I can only say I hopes she does not win and has to get an HONEST job like the rest of us!
Sunday, 6 April 2008
An Award Worth Striving For
Prude's Mission.
This is an award worth striving for ... worth living for ... worth, well, collecting charity in little tins for.
I thinks it is most respectable, and I urge other wannabe prudes to go for it. Don't be afraid .. Be Prude and Proud! And one day this honour may be yours!
Tuesday, 11 March 2008
Stand by Man ... But what about Stand by Morals?
Now here it is - a famous man New York Governor Eliot Spitzer is in the middle of a sex scandal . OK so what is new, you is asking. It is sad but true that famous people seems to be having sex in sorry places more than ordinary people, or maybe they is just getting caught more. Whatever it is, this time, Silda Wall Spitzer who is his wife is standing by him for the moment.
Now there is other women who has been pointed to having similar experiences and also standing by their men, like Hillary Clinton or Dina McGreevey. Do this make the matter of the world better? of course not, it make it worse. When all these men is running about with other people, in Spitzer's case a PROSTITUTE (I feel faint) then there is something rotting with the morals in our society.
Ms McGreevey say don't say it is bad for Ms Spitzer to stand by her man because she did the same thing and you don't know what it is like until you have been in another person's shoes.
Well I say I likes being in Prude's shoes. After you has been with a man who has cheated I would be rather wary about what had been happening to my shoes and other intimate apparel items. I thinks my own shoes is the best. At least I wash them thoroughly and make sure they is disinfected properly with a proper powder and soap. No germs. You don't need to be in another person's germpot to know it is germy!
Now she is saying there is good reason to stay because of the children.
Oh I can see that all right.
"Hi daddy. Here is your pancake. Did you have a good day at the office with your prostitute?" I is thinking that is not very wholesome breakfast chat.
Ms Spitzer for some strange reason may wish to stand by her man, perhaps because she has been watching some of those mushy romances in the Mills & Boon section where the naughty husband come back and apologise and everything is ok again but by standing by her man what is she doing for the Prudey Cause?
I thinks nothing.
It is teaching the man he can go off with a prostitute and then that is good behaviour. That is not what Prudism is about. It is not saying I thinks your crotch ought to be shackled in a dungeon for the rest of eternity for your trespasses into the llewd world how dare you how dare you you have a lot to pay for mister which is closer to Prudey teachings.
Oh he gets off too lightly if it is all forget and forget and defend I thinks.
Now there is other women who has been pointed to having similar experiences and also standing by their men, like Hillary Clinton or Dina McGreevey. Do this make the matter of the world better? of course not, it make it worse. When all these men is running about with other people, in Spitzer's case a PROSTITUTE (I feel faint) then there is something rotting with the morals in our society.
Ms McGreevey say don't say it is bad for Ms Spitzer to stand by her man because she did the same thing and you don't know what it is like until you have been in another person's shoes.
Well I say I likes being in Prude's shoes. After you has been with a man who has cheated I would be rather wary about what had been happening to my shoes and other intimate apparel items. I thinks my own shoes is the best. At least I wash them thoroughly and make sure they is disinfected properly with a proper powder and soap. No germs. You don't need to be in another person's germpot to know it is germy!
Now she is saying there is good reason to stay because of the children.
Oh I can see that all right.
"Hi daddy. Here is your pancake. Did you have a good day at the office with your prostitute?" I is thinking that is not very wholesome breakfast chat.
Ms Spitzer for some strange reason may wish to stand by her man, perhaps because she has been watching some of those mushy romances in the Mills & Boon section where the naughty husband come back and apologise and everything is ok again but by standing by her man what is she doing for the Prudey Cause?
I thinks nothing.
It is teaching the man he can go off with a prostitute and then that is good behaviour. That is not what Prudism is about. It is not saying I thinks your crotch ought to be shackled in a dungeon for the rest of eternity for your trespasses into the llewd world how dare you how dare you you have a lot to pay for mister which is closer to Prudey teachings.
Oh he gets off too lightly if it is all forget and forget and defend I thinks.
Tuesday, 4 March 2008
A Very Appropriate Start
Has anyone viewed my blog in Mozilla Firefox (or any browser other than Internet Explorer lately?) and noted the URL?
I thinks it is VERY appropriate for a Prudey!
I thinks it is VERY appropriate for a Prudey!
Monday, 25 February 2008
Romeo + Juliet: A Prudey Tale Part V
The Nurse go into Juliet's room very early in the morning, and she look ... dead.
"Oh goodness gracious! She look dead!" The Nurse scream for Juliet's father and mother.
"She must have died of a broken heart," think the Nurse. "It must be my fault. I is sorry now. When I thinks of it, Rome is just as romantic as Paris. Maybe even more so. I should never have said what I did."
"Aiyee! What use is a dead daughter? She cannot marry Paris and I will never get a big wedding in the family! And I had just got the cake ready! It were to be a marble cake too!" shrieked Juliet's mother.
"Quiet," say her husband. "You can always have cake for dessert after we put Juliet in the crypt. And you can have Juliet's slice too. It seem marble cake will be of little use to her now." He sigh. Juliet's mother stop shrieking.
"Let us dress her in something pretty and put her in a nice box. It is the dignified way."
Meanwhile, Romeo is living in Exile. He is not doing so well. He is trying to write a poem about Juliet.
Oh Juliet you is like a sweet song,
I think abouts you all days long
Oh Juliet you is like vanilla ice cream
You is white and pure all through it seem
Oh Juliet you is a noble penguin
And then Romeo is stuck, for he has been thinking for long about a good rhyme for "penguin" that aptly describe his strong feelings for Juliet but he cannot.
"You has mail," say a postie.
He rip open the envelope. It is blotchy and rather wobbly. Something about Romeo ... something ... tell ... you ... was that a J? oh gosh, the Friar is getting worse. It is his arthritis playing up again. And he would never accept the fact that he was really a leftie. Romeo had always tried to convince him he should out himself and just write with his left hand. However the Friar wwas a stubborn man and tried to write with his right hand all his life. Then he got the shakes, too. The result was something that resembled Morse Code except there was no proper pattern to it.
Romeo give up in disgust. Old men would not face up to real life!
He is thinking about this while he bend over his poem to Juliet, when up bounce a penguin friend.
"Romeo, I has terrible news, Juliet is dead! I has run all the way to Exile to tell you!"
"Is you funning me? Because I do not think this is very funny!" say Romeo.
"No, Penguin Honour Bright, she is lying in a crypt and she looks dead as a penguin could be! Her whole family is in mourning!"
Romeo bend over the Friar's letter and he think he can deciphr the word "dead" and a "J" in there. Maybe that was what the Friar was trying to tell him!
"Oh, how can this be? And Juliet will never here the great poem I was writing for her! It was to be my masterpiece!" He grab up the unfinished poem in one hand, and hurry off back to Verona.
On the way he finds a chemist, "Have you something deadly and strong?"
"Hmmm, what do you mean?" ask the chemist.
"Anything you has probably sold a successful musician or movie star recently," explain Romeo.
"Oh, we has lots of that stuff," assured the chemist, and mix him a deadly formula.
Romeo thank him and pop the vial in his pocket and whiz off to the Captulet Crypt.
Whom do he see but Paris? Paris is sitting by Juliet's box, paying his respects and also munching on a bit of marble cake which the Captulets had supplied him for sustenance, as he had intended to mourn there for a few hours.
"Who is you?" demand Romeo.
"I ask you the same question. I has permission to be here!" answer Paris. "I think YOU is the intruder."
"She is my girl," answer Romeo.
"What is you speaking of, I was to marry her!" say Paris.
Romeo is incensed and rush forward, Paris mistake this for an attack and lunge forward too. They begin a rumble on the floor, not very dignified I is sorry to report.
"Intruder!" snap Paris. "I will have your head!"
"Don't you take Juliet!" call Romeo. He see a large vase like thing available, and smash Paris with it, too hastily. The vase shatters.
Double tragedy. Paris is dead. Also, the ashes of great-great-great grandma Captulet is now all over the place.
"What has I done?" say Romeo.
He take one last look at Juliet. "Juliet, my dearest, I loves you. You looks so much at peace, and I is leaving you my unfinished poem. I only wish I could have finished the rhyme. But I wish to be with you so ... I take this drink!"
He drinks the poison and collapse. Now Romeo is really dead.
The Friar burst into the crypt then and see what has happened. Juliet is just waking up then.
"What went wrong?" she wailed. Romeo is dead, Paris is dead, Great-great-great grandma is dead ... ok, that I expected. And Romeo has left me a poem to finish with a very difficult rhyme!"
"Darn my leftiness!" curse the Friar.
"I has nothing left to live for!" scream Juliet.
"No, don't, Juliet, you can run elsewhere, I shall buy you a good rhyming dictionary, I shall ...." say the Friar.
But Juliet has found a nearby sword and plunged it through her heart.
It was hours later that the Pontagues and Captulets found out what had happened.
"I thinks we should end this feud like grown ups," say Mr Pontague. I do not want any more bloodshed. And the Captulets shook on it.
The Prince of Verona sighed with relief - no more interrupted milkshake breaks.
And Verona prospered - charity collecting was a safe and more prosperous activity from that day on in the city - well, for quite a while.
What's more, the Friar also came out of the closet and admit he was a lefty. His handwriting got better, but he also invest in a computer so he could type his letters and email. Oh, things went better in correspondence from then on - so long as he get the email addresses right.
"Oh goodness gracious! She look dead!" The Nurse scream for Juliet's father and mother.
"She must have died of a broken heart," think the Nurse. "It must be my fault. I is sorry now. When I thinks of it, Rome is just as romantic as Paris. Maybe even more so. I should never have said what I did."
"Aiyee! What use is a dead daughter? She cannot marry Paris and I will never get a big wedding in the family! And I had just got the cake ready! It were to be a marble cake too!" shrieked Juliet's mother.
"Quiet," say her husband. "You can always have cake for dessert after we put Juliet in the crypt. And you can have Juliet's slice too. It seem marble cake will be of little use to her now." He sigh. Juliet's mother stop shrieking.
"Let us dress her in something pretty and put her in a nice box. It is the dignified way."
Meanwhile, Romeo is living in Exile. He is not doing so well. He is trying to write a poem about Juliet.
Oh Juliet you is like a sweet song,
I think abouts you all days long
Oh Juliet you is like vanilla ice cream
You is white and pure all through it seem
Oh Juliet you is a noble penguin
And then Romeo is stuck, for he has been thinking for long about a good rhyme for "penguin" that aptly describe his strong feelings for Juliet but he cannot.
"You has mail," say a postie.
He rip open the envelope. It is blotchy and rather wobbly. Something about Romeo ... something ... tell ... you ... was that a J? oh gosh, the Friar is getting worse. It is his arthritis playing up again. And he would never accept the fact that he was really a leftie. Romeo had always tried to convince him he should out himself and just write with his left hand. However the Friar wwas a stubborn man and tried to write with his right hand all his life. Then he got the shakes, too. The result was something that resembled Morse Code except there was no proper pattern to it.
Romeo give up in disgust. Old men would not face up to real life!
He is thinking about this while he bend over his poem to Juliet, when up bounce a penguin friend.
"Romeo, I has terrible news, Juliet is dead! I has run all the way to Exile to tell you!"
"Is you funning me? Because I do not think this is very funny!" say Romeo.
"No, Penguin Honour Bright, she is lying in a crypt and she looks dead as a penguin could be! Her whole family is in mourning!"
Romeo bend over the Friar's letter and he think he can deciphr the word "dead" and a "J" in there. Maybe that was what the Friar was trying to tell him!
"Oh, how can this be? And Juliet will never here the great poem I was writing for her! It was to be my masterpiece!" He grab up the unfinished poem in one hand, and hurry off back to Verona.
On the way he finds a chemist, "Have you something deadly and strong?"
"Hmmm, what do you mean?" ask the chemist.
"Anything you has probably sold a successful musician or movie star recently," explain Romeo.
"Oh, we has lots of that stuff," assured the chemist, and mix him a deadly formula.
Romeo thank him and pop the vial in his pocket and whiz off to the Captulet Crypt.
Whom do he see but Paris? Paris is sitting by Juliet's box, paying his respects and also munching on a bit of marble cake which the Captulets had supplied him for sustenance, as he had intended to mourn there for a few hours.
"Who is you?" demand Romeo.
"I ask you the same question. I has permission to be here!" answer Paris. "I think YOU is the intruder."
"She is my girl," answer Romeo.
"What is you speaking of, I was to marry her!" say Paris.
Romeo is incensed and rush forward, Paris mistake this for an attack and lunge forward too. They begin a rumble on the floor, not very dignified I is sorry to report.
"Intruder!" snap Paris. "I will have your head!"
"Don't you take Juliet!" call Romeo. He see a large vase like thing available, and smash Paris with it, too hastily. The vase shatters.
Double tragedy. Paris is dead. Also, the ashes of great-great-great grandma Captulet is now all over the place.
"What has I done?" say Romeo.
He take one last look at Juliet. "Juliet, my dearest, I loves you. You looks so much at peace, and I is leaving you my unfinished poem. I only wish I could have finished the rhyme. But I wish to be with you so ... I take this drink!"
He drinks the poison and collapse. Now Romeo is really dead.
The Friar burst into the crypt then and see what has happened. Juliet is just waking up then.
"What went wrong?" she wailed. Romeo is dead, Paris is dead, Great-great-great grandma is dead ... ok, that I expected. And Romeo has left me a poem to finish with a very difficult rhyme!"
"Darn my leftiness!" curse the Friar.
"I has nothing left to live for!" scream Juliet.
"No, don't, Juliet, you can run elsewhere, I shall buy you a good rhyming dictionary, I shall ...." say the Friar.
But Juliet has found a nearby sword and plunged it through her heart.
It was hours later that the Pontagues and Captulets found out what had happened.
"I thinks we should end this feud like grown ups," say Mr Pontague. I do not want any more bloodshed. And the Captulets shook on it.
The Prince of Verona sighed with relief - no more interrupted milkshake breaks.
And Verona prospered - charity collecting was a safe and more prosperous activity from that day on in the city - well, for quite a while.
What's more, the Friar also came out of the closet and admit he was a lefty. His handwriting got better, but he also invest in a computer so he could type his letters and email. Oh, things went better in correspondence from then on - so long as he get the email addresses right.
Thursday, 21 February 2008
Romeo + Juliet: A Prudey Tale Part IV
The Prince of Verona snapped, "I has had it! That's the straw that broke the caramel's back! And I has not even had a vanilla milkshake yet! I is sick of my milkshake breaks being disturbed! Who is responsible for this? I demands to know!"
He is standing over Tybalt.
"Hmmm, that would be Romeo," murmurs a rather scared looking Captulet.
"Right, I will take away all his milkshake privilages, everywhere, FOREVER! I has the power!"
"But Tybalt killed Meritutio first," pointed out Bestolio.
"Sneak sneak sneak sneak," chanted a nearby Captulet.
"Perhaps I was being unduly harsh," admitted the Prince of Verona. "All right. I shall simply exile Romeo. He is not welcome in Verona ever again."
The news spread fast, and poor Romeo took himself far away, and Juliet locked herself in her room and sobbed.
"She is probably crying because she needs a penguin partner," said her dad. He was trying to help but he did not fully understand the situation, like many fathers. "I know - she can marry Paris! Who does not like Paris?"
"Errgh ... slime ball city!" say Juliet in between her sobs.
"Enough of that, if you do not marry him I shall disown you," say her father.
"I thinks you should marry Paris," say her Nurse. "Romeo is gone now and after all Paris sound so romantic!"
Juliet throw a pillow at her and the Nurse start squawking.
"What shall I do?" thinks Juliet, "If I get stuck with Mr Slime Ball I shall hate it. I shall die of boredom. I will spend the rest of my life wsahing my hair and doing my toenails. I know I will have nothing to talk about. Romeo is the sun and the moon and the stars and Paris is ... hmmm, I don't know what. He do not move me. He do not write cute poetry like Romeo. He do not have a twinkle in his eye or jig to a penguin tune like Romoe. He is nothing. Perhaps he ought to be with a penguin who want nothing but I is not that penguin!"
She is feeling so down she climb out the window and visit the Friar and say, "Is there nothing I can do to prevent the world collapsing - well, my marriage to Paris, which is the same thing?" We is to be married tomorrow!"
"You has already been married once," say the Friar.
"Yes, and it is rather slutty to do it twice in such quick succession. I thinks the tabloids would be having a field day if they only knew. But also I do not wish to be joined to this Paris-man. Can you help me?"
"Hmmm," say the Friar. "Well, I have a drug that could help."
"I is not into drugs," say Juliet.
"Maybe you will be when you has tried this one," say the Friar. "When you takes it, it will make you seem dead. Your family will then not think of making you marry Paris unless he has fetishes I is not aware of. They will mourn you and lay you away in the crypt. Everyone will be thinking you is dead. Over a day later, though, you will wake up - and you will NOT be dead - and you can run off and be with Romeo. Of course, I will send someone to tell Romeo of the plan, so it will be a secret - just between us three."
"Hmmm - sound like the only option I has. I am to be married tomorrow," say Juliet.
"Then here it is - this little bottle. Take it before you go to bed tonight - it's a bit bitter. I will write to Romeo right now."
"Are you sure he will understand you?" ask Juliet.
"My handwriting is very neat," the Friar assured her, handing her the bottle. "Now here you go!"
He is standing over Tybalt.
"Hmmm, that would be Romeo," murmurs a rather scared looking Captulet.
"Right, I will take away all his milkshake privilages, everywhere, FOREVER! I has the power!"
"But Tybalt killed Meritutio first," pointed out Bestolio.
"Sneak sneak sneak sneak," chanted a nearby Captulet.
"Perhaps I was being unduly harsh," admitted the Prince of Verona. "All right. I shall simply exile Romeo. He is not welcome in Verona ever again."
The news spread fast, and poor Romeo took himself far away, and Juliet locked herself in her room and sobbed.
"She is probably crying because she needs a penguin partner," said her dad. He was trying to help but he did not fully understand the situation, like many fathers. "I know - she can marry Paris! Who does not like Paris?"
"Errgh ... slime ball city!" say Juliet in between her sobs.
"Enough of that, if you do not marry him I shall disown you," say her father.
"I thinks you should marry Paris," say her Nurse. "Romeo is gone now and after all Paris sound so romantic!"
Juliet throw a pillow at her and the Nurse start squawking.
"What shall I do?" thinks Juliet, "If I get stuck with Mr Slime Ball I shall hate it. I shall die of boredom. I will spend the rest of my life wsahing my hair and doing my toenails. I know I will have nothing to talk about. Romeo is the sun and the moon and the stars and Paris is ... hmmm, I don't know what. He do not move me. He do not write cute poetry like Romeo. He do not have a twinkle in his eye or jig to a penguin tune like Romoe. He is nothing. Perhaps he ought to be with a penguin who want nothing but I is not that penguin!"
She is feeling so down she climb out the window and visit the Friar and say, "Is there nothing I can do to prevent the world collapsing - well, my marriage to Paris, which is the same thing?" We is to be married tomorrow!"
"You has already been married once," say the Friar.
"Yes, and it is rather slutty to do it twice in such quick succession. I thinks the tabloids would be having a field day if they only knew. But also I do not wish to be joined to this Paris-man. Can you help me?"
"Hmmm," say the Friar. "Well, I have a drug that could help."
"I is not into drugs," say Juliet.
"Maybe you will be when you has tried this one," say the Friar. "When you takes it, it will make you seem dead. Your family will then not think of making you marry Paris unless he has fetishes I is not aware of. They will mourn you and lay you away in the crypt. Everyone will be thinking you is dead. Over a day later, though, you will wake up - and you will NOT be dead - and you can run off and be with Romeo. Of course, I will send someone to tell Romeo of the plan, so it will be a secret - just between us three."
"Hmmm - sound like the only option I has. I am to be married tomorrow," say Juliet.
"Then here it is - this little bottle. Take it before you go to bed tonight - it's a bit bitter. I will write to Romeo right now."
"Are you sure he will understand you?" ask Juliet.
"My handwriting is very neat," the Friar assured her, handing her the bottle. "Now here you go!"
Newsflash!!! Meakin Goes Pro-Penguin
I interrupt my broadcast of Romeo and Juliet to brings you all some fantastic breaking news.
It is about how Channel 7 News Chief Peter Meakin has found his love and devotion for the penguin . I is sure if he can, we all can. He do not seem the naturally soft and cuddly type. But wonders will never cease.
It is about how Channel 7 News Chief Peter Meakin has found his love and devotion for the penguin . I is sure if he can, we all can. He do not seem the naturally soft and cuddly type. But wonders will never cease.
It is not a honourable story that got him there however - he has got a third drink driving conviction and instead of getting gaol, was ordered to do 250 hours of community service.
He has now decided to offer his services in public relations to a penguin preservation team at Manly Environment Centre.
Some anti-drinkers say he has got off lightly.
But if it help the penguins, at least some good come of it, I thinks. We cannot dismiss the good of it. Hopefully one day he will look into a penguin's eye and see the real meaning of life and never touch a drink again for he will see the dignity of the penguin and realise the noble cause of staying sober. That is what I is hoping anyhow.
He will helps the penguin, and the pengiun will helps him. That will truly be the full cycle of life, karma, nature, would it not?
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