Monday 18 June 2007

The Last ... Thing Mr Cruise Should have picked from the Samurai Wardrobe

Hmmm. I has had some mixed thoughts on Tom Cruise. He has nice white teeth, which indicate good dental hygiene and that I like. He flirt with buxom lady in Top Gun, that I frown upon as a good Prude does. He has a strong purpose in Scientology which I relate to even if mine is in Prude Activism. He made a movie called Cocktail which has a questionable title never mind about the content. I mean, really, disregard the content. Really.

But he really lost my respect mostly when I watch The Last Samurai. It was going not too badly even though there were not the requisite penguins which usually make a Holly hit nowadays, as directors seem to have twigged, but Japanese warriors seemed to have been their substitute. Then near the end Tom Cruise tries out some samurai moves which he is not that good at, but worse still he put on a dress.

Now a robe look appropriate on the monk.

On Tom Cruise it look like he is a drag queen. It was also bunched up round the waist and bellowed out - the real muffin top look. Oh horror of horrors.

Some men like Scots bagpipers can pull off a skirt. Hmmm, how did that read? I mean they can wear one and while some giggle at Scots bagpipers it is somewhat respectable.

Tom Cruise, he just look wrong.

What is really sad about this is I hear he is a father. This is a man he will be passing certain wardrobe fashions down to the next generation. I say there ought to be standardised tests for parents. Them who do this should be sterilised.

10 comments:

Friendless said...

Prude, long time no blog! I'm just wondering what you wear when you go out looking for penguin sex and your penguin suit is in the drycleaner? And apart from your chastity belt, what lingerie do you wear? I need this information for a scientific paper I am writing to cure the cancer that my grandmother is dying of - she contracted it working amongst the poor in Calcutta when she was training Mother Teresa.

Anonymous said...

Prude, you obviously not seen pictures of Tom's teeth before the surgery. They're no natural chompers. Also that's a bit non - Prude like to disrespect other cultures assuming he is wearing a dress.

The Man

Anonymous said...

Phardon this phost, Phrude. Beware! Wethinks human pherson calling hisself Phriendless and phlaying with hisself on his bhlog has a crush on thyself a phenguin pherson Phrude and pherhaps wants to pheel your phenguin suit and phuck you. He talk about phenguin sex when you and I both know that we phenguins are too cold and too aphraid to take off our phenguin suits for phear that all that hot air will leak out and we will be phrigid just like all his ex girlphriends. Not to say his LOTM may be very upset if he take to phucking a phenguin now.

Friendless said...

Check this out, Prude:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2007/06/26/1961856.htm

prude said...

The Man - you cannot spell "penguin". It is a most important word in the English lexicon and I suggest you write it out a thousand times. Or post it a thousand times. On my blog. Then I may get more links from Penguin Lover Groups. Is that how it works?

prude said...

What is this phucking you speak of The Man? Has it any relation to puking?

Oh I think I knows what you is referring to you.

You disgust me.

And if friendless were involved in any phucking I would be puking I assure you!

Anonymous said...

I didn't spell penguin because apart from this post my only other post on this page is the second post. Frankly, I don't understand what whoever posted that is talking about.

The Man

Anonymous said...

Hello Jumbled Phenguin,

I hope that confusing anonymous pheople with The Man while breaking Phriendless’ heart by talking of phuking in the same breath as phucking him is just a Phreudian slip on your behalf and not a sign that your slip is showing, unless of course you are spheaking of the phuking that is involved in phregnancy, but remember that it would be really imphrudent and not Phrude-like at all. We phenguins are already quite phront-heavy and slow without being phull of slimy baby phenguins. I phresume that it was just a momentary phase of phanic on your part and that this too shall phass.

Call me Schedenphreude.

Friendless said...

I'm not a phenguin phucker...

prude said...

All these anonymous peoples is conphusing! Oh it is contagious!