Friday, 17 August 2007

Pingu comes tops

Well, well, well. I said it about March of the Penguins. I said it about Happy Feet. I said it about Surf's Up.

Penguins is ruling the entertainment roost, and now they is coming to TV . We just can't get enough of them. They is the top rating tv show in the mornings . Go the penguin! Morality and nobility rule! And shove out those other morning show cacklers who think they is someone but cannot beat the power of the Penguin. The Penguin is Mightier than the Human Being Trying To Be Charismatic In The Morning. Not many humans is good in the mornings I has found but the penguins is. I think it comes from good penguin dance exercises early on in life, start at dawn.

The penguin who is doing so well is called Pingu . Not quite a Mr Jumbles but very respectable. Mr Jumbles is quite a fan and has bookmarked the Pingu website. Mr Jumbles likes to see his fellow penguins spread the good penguin word.

Now you all has something a bit more to brighten up your morning, and educate you further. What more could you want?

What is Zoo Thinking? Zoo Immoral People, Zoo!

If it were possible for Zoo magazine to hit a minus integrity low, this disgusting immoral Big Boob Competition would be it.
First of all the magazine says win a big boob job for your girlfriend. Well I say it is disgusting that a man should be thinking of his girl's breasts let alone wishing they were very big.

He should be thinking of his partner in life, about her moral integrity. Her commitment to purpose in life. Her prudey ideals and intellectualism, somewhat like Prude's.

The idea he should be wanting big breasts in her (or on her) says one thing only - it means he is thinking of wicked things. You is knowing what I means. The eyes centre in on the chest and they is focussed not on her higher being.

The Editor of this magazine says that this is a most romantic gift to give a girlfriend.
What could be more romantic?

Many things.
A penguin suit.
A donation to a penguin charity, in her name.
A pet penguin or penguin doll.
Dinner set with penguin motif.
Trip to Antarctica (or Tasmania) for penguin sighting.
A Prudemobile.
DVD - "March of The Penguins" "Happy Feet".

Prude has many romantic gift ideas. No need to stoop to this plastic fantastic stuff!

Thursday, 2 August 2007

This Farce - it is an Insult! No Punishment Too Bad for Bob Saget!

I has read the reviews, and the articles, I has seen the advertising, I has unfortunately seen the website and that is too much. I will be boycotting that disgusting thing they is calling a film, The Farce Of The Penguins .

I recommend you all do the same.

My beloved film, the one that promote the greatness of the noble creature, the penguin, i.e. March Of The Penguins, has been utterly ridiculed by this disgusting attempt. Fortunately Luc Jacquet's masterpiece will hold strong because it is noble and Bob Saget's amateur stupidity shocker will fall flat on its face because it should.

I advise anyone who actually keeps his old Full House videos to make a bonfire of them and dance around them gleefully saying "Good riddance to Bob Saget!" Hmmm. I know what will keep me busy this afternoon.

Farce Of the Penguins is not about nobility and restraint or chastity it inaccurately show penguins as hedonistic creatures who go to immoral places such as nightclubs in the hunt for flings and casual sex. This show inaccurate research and I think there may be a lawsuit in there for slander. Mr Jumbles is studying it up. Bob Saget be wary in case many penguins file defamation suits against you.

On the other hand many robed penguins may simply come to your door one time in the middle of the night and drag you out and teach you a lesson. Perhaps slapping your botty with dead fish and dancing a jig around you. How would you like that? You may even be left with a little penguin of death logo drawn on your forehead as a reminder of your wrongdoings.

Of course if that should happen you did not read it here. I is merely speculating. But it would be justice.

Wednesday, 1 August 2007

Welcome the PrudeMobile!

Blogger GT asked recently, what kind of car would prude have if she had a car?

That is a very interesting question. For at the moment Prude do not have a car. She walks most places or she has caught the bus or train. A couple of times she has caught a taxi but taxi drivers are not very polite in general. And some has appalling English skills, unlike Prude here whose English skills is second to none.

Walking is very good for the body as well as good for the environment, and a Dream PrudeMobile would definitely reflect those values. It would be fuel efficient. In fact, if possible Prude would have invented some revolutionary way in the future to have used up something that no one want anymore and have no carbon emissions at all.

Perhaps she could design a certain way to power a car on dinner leftovers, spam emails, politicians' broken promises and policies, lost paperclips, pez containers and introductory offers to credit card companies, without there being any emissions. This would be a great boon for the environment.

Her car would be ergonomically designed to support the back and give good posture, for a good penguin always sit upright. PrudeMobiles would be available in noble colours, white, black and white, and blue and white.

Such a car would be spick and span because prude detest rubbish. There would be a large roomy area for holding a box to collect penguin charity donations, and a brush should one's penguin suit need a bit of maintenance.

A CD player installed in the car would recite Prude's incantations as she drove through the streets, in the hope of converting the sinners she pass. "Chastity! Do not forget chastity! It is Good to be a Prude! Do not think about sex! Be chaste! Do not give into earthly disgusting temptations! Hold yourself high and be above wickedness!"

Near where the accelerator and brake is, there would be room to let your idle foot do a good penguin dance limbering up exercise.

It would be driven at a moderate speed. Prude detest this idea of racing against hoons. It is dangerous and rough and stupid. Also, if you drive more moderately the more likely pedestrians and passers-by will hear your Prude message and be converted than if you buzz by hardly seen.

Safety. Beauty. Upholding Righteous Values. Body, mind and soul in harmony.

The Prudemobile embody them all.