Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Equality in No Nudity

Recently Mr Fred Nile came out to say that he is outraged at topless sunbathing and wishes that it be banned.

(personally I is not caring whether it is at the sun or at the beach or whatever, but I in principle agrees)

Some people sneered and said that if toplessness was to be banned then remember we would have to say men would have to cover up too.

That was EQUALITY.

I think this was supposed to shame advocates like me into swinging to letting boobies hang out, but I say - I think this is an excellent idea.

For too long have men strolled about baring chests. It is an unseemly habit and it is shameful. It is like saying, "look, my front pieces do not protrude so I can show them off. Nudity is ok if there is no bouncy bits". Which is just like saying that a female should be not wearing undies in public for she has no bouncy bits there, and of course would be completely immoral. The shock! The disgust!

I is not sure exactly which is worse, the no shirt at all look or that careless shirt on but open breezing look revealing all, which has a rebellious tone to it of "yes I has a shirt, I know of their existence but I is not going to button it up PEEKABOO! attitude" rather than the naked look which is just out there and to some extent may suggest someone who hasn't got the money to purchase a shirt or who has forgotten a shirt exists. Perhaps one could prod him with a stick (do not touch another's bare skin) and remind him that upper clothing has been invented.

Besides, bare chests and nudity is a health hazard:

1. Sunburn
2. You can get hot food spilled on them. If it is oily hot, ouch!
3. You brush against thorns on a tree, ouch!
4. You fall over, more likely to get scratched, etc
5. You has wobbly bits exposed, someone stares at you, they is not looking where they are going, they bump into something else, car crash.
6. If you is wearing no clothes you cannot be wearing your neon shirt which make it easy to see you at night when you is out walking. Very dangerous for late night strollers.
7. If you is not wearing shoes it is not good for your feet when jogging or walking or rock climbing. Bunions.

I thinks nude people could also be carelessly and unfairly driving up the cost of healthcare for everyone else. That is selfish. This is not generating a feeling of community which Prude endorses.

Cover up and be thoughtful to others!

Survivor Penguin!

I has just seen a penguin video that I think would brighten up any good penguin fan's New Year amazingly, and wish to share.

Here we go:

Penguin escapes killer whales

Did you ever see such heroism?

Such breathtaking wonder?

I wonder why people employ some of these nobodies in Hollywood to go about toting guns and running about in obviously fake buildings with big explosives behind it (we all know it is just a computer effect peoples) when we can have real adrenalin pumping right here and this is for real and what is more the RIGHTEOUS PENGUIN is saved for the day.

Not that I advocate putting penguins in tanks full of sharks to replace badly made Hollywood pics.

No not one bit.

But when it happened and it is captured on film and the baddie loses it is infinitely better more value for the DVD than some silly big budget badly scripted car chase movie which have to involve a sleazy cop, a wisecracking black cop and a cold baddie with no personality and an unfathomable or convenient motive, and a machine gun that can fire fifty times at a good guy but never hit him.

I hopes.

Look out for the reassuring "All penguins survived and were awarded medals of bravery in the making of this film" tag in your next rental.