Monday, 6 April 2009

Penguins and Politics

Recently I went to the Sydney Aquarium.

I went there and saw many wonders. I must say the dugongs are a brilliant. They is very peaceful large beings. And I is very impressed by seahorses. They has good posture. Even when swimming. Full marks.

However of course the main attraction was the penguins and I timed my visit so I was there for the Penguin Feed session.

It is a great study in animal survival instincts and also an interesting analogy in Party Room Politics in Australia.

For those of you who have not had the pleasure of seeing a Penguin Feed I highly recommend it. If you do not wish the plot to be spoiled for you, I suggest not reading further.

However, I will describe what happens as this: Penguins are doing as they usually do - toddling about and swimming in the pool, with glass window on side so audience can watch.

At Feed Time, Authorised Personnel enter the Penguin room, one with a clipboard to take notes and one with a bucket of fish to feed the penguins.

No, this is no dining table where penguins get to sit at a long candlelit dinner area and are given set portions, cutlery etc in entree, main and dessert servings.

So the penguins go to the fish man.

Some penguins quickly know it is fish time and are the first to get out of the water and walk over. They are fed quickly. Some work it out later but are still brisk. Some are slower to figure it out but are aggressive and fight for their place.

I noted two very aggressive penguins who were not the first to get up there but once there, maintained their stranglehold on front position, that's for sure.

And there was one poor penguin who was rather shy, he did not notice till later and then he toddled forward, did not want to be too aggressive and got put off even as he made his way to the front, every time there was a slightly aggressive penguin nearby he lost heart and toddled away.

I watched him.

He did not receive one single fish.

I nickname this penguin "Peter Costello Penguin" - the penguin who will have his fish only if served to him on a silver platter otherwise not at all. but he will not fight for it.

Late in the fight but aggressive, and keeping a stranglehold on front position for as long as possible was "John Howard Penguin"

Earlier on, fairly quick to trot, pushed out later by the aggressive but at least he got a nip was "Brendan Nelson Penguin".

By the way my guess is if Peter Costello Penguin acts like this every feed day he will die a very slow but sad and agonising death but the other penguins will be too busy swimming and eating fish to mourn him for very long.

Sad. I felt sorry for that penguin. I wish the Penguin Feed Time did not work that way but that is the way the system works.

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Hundreds of Penguins Dead

This article leave me cold. Hundreds of penguins dead and they cannot even find a reason qiuck so we cannot put in preventative measures to stop this terrible tragedy occurring ever again.

Human beings die sometimes in their flocks and we stop.

We wave flags and we make speeches.

I say we should be at least marking the deaths of the penguins similarly for they is role models and their deaths is a huge loss to our community and we shoudl take every measure we can to make sure it never happen again.

I myself wore a black veil and lit a little candle as a token.

This was a sad day. Such tragedy should not be repeated.

I is having horrible little dreams strewn with the bodies of penguins now. It is not good.

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Equality in No Nudity

Recently Mr Fred Nile came out to say that he is outraged at topless sunbathing and wishes that it be banned.

(personally I is not caring whether it is at the sun or at the beach or whatever, but I in principle agrees)

Some people sneered and said that if toplessness was to be banned then remember we would have to say men would have to cover up too.

That was EQUALITY.

I think this was supposed to shame advocates like me into swinging to letting boobies hang out, but I say - I think this is an excellent idea.

For too long have men strolled about baring chests. It is an unseemly habit and it is shameful. It is like saying, "look, my front pieces do not protrude so I can show them off. Nudity is ok if there is no bouncy bits". Which is just like saying that a female should be not wearing undies in public for she has no bouncy bits there, and of course would be completely immoral. The shock! The disgust!

I is not sure exactly which is worse, the no shirt at all look or that careless shirt on but open breezing look revealing all, which has a rebellious tone to it of "yes I has a shirt, I know of their existence but I is not going to button it up PEEKABOO! attitude" rather than the naked look which is just out there and to some extent may suggest someone who hasn't got the money to purchase a shirt or who has forgotten a shirt exists. Perhaps one could prod him with a stick (do not touch another's bare skin) and remind him that upper clothing has been invented.

Besides, bare chests and nudity is a health hazard:

1. Sunburn
2. You can get hot food spilled on them. If it is oily hot, ouch!
3. You brush against thorns on a tree, ouch!
4. You fall over, more likely to get scratched, etc
5. You has wobbly bits exposed, someone stares at you, they is not looking where they are going, they bump into something else, car crash.
6. If you is wearing no clothes you cannot be wearing your neon shirt which make it easy to see you at night when you is out walking. Very dangerous for late night strollers.
7. If you is not wearing shoes it is not good for your feet when jogging or walking or rock climbing. Bunions.

I thinks nude people could also be carelessly and unfairly driving up the cost of healthcare for everyone else. That is selfish. This is not generating a feeling of community which Prude endorses.

Cover up and be thoughtful to others!

Survivor Penguin!

I has just seen a penguin video that I think would brighten up any good penguin fan's New Year amazingly, and wish to share.

Here we go:

Penguin escapes killer whales

Did you ever see such heroism?

Such breathtaking wonder?

I wonder why people employ some of these nobodies in Hollywood to go about toting guns and running about in obviously fake buildings with big explosives behind it (we all know it is just a computer effect peoples) when we can have real adrenalin pumping right here and this is for real and what is more the RIGHTEOUS PENGUIN is saved for the day.

Not that I advocate putting penguins in tanks full of sharks to replace badly made Hollywood pics.

No not one bit.

But when it happened and it is captured on film and the baddie loses it is infinitely better more value for the DVD than some silly big budget badly scripted car chase movie which have to involve a sleazy cop, a wisecracking black cop and a cold baddie with no personality and an unfathomable or convenient motive, and a machine gun that can fire fifty times at a good guy but never hit him.

I hopes.

Look out for the reassuring "All penguins survived and were awarded medals of bravery in the making of this film" tag in your next rental.