Friday, 20 July 2007

Disney's Finding Nemo: Skating On Thin Ice

Finding Nemo I think is a good wholesome movie in many ways. It does not contain penguins but the fish in it are quite friendly creatures and as I say I am a penguin fan but this do not mean I do not appreciate other forms of wildlife. I am partial to a bit of fish. Indeed.

However, I is shocked to find out that Disney, that children's production company, that one who has brought to us such icons as the great Mickey Mouse, has decided to desecrate our great Barrier Reef movie with its Disney production, Finding Nemo: Disney On Ice Production.

It is with great sadness I show you some of the Disney On Ice production pictures.

Our great Nemo and Dory and other characters have been ruined. What were lovely innocent fish swimming in the sea have now been ridiculed. They has been made into costumes by skaters that have been modified for the sexual gratification of insensitive designers, I must say this is the only reasonable explanation I can come up with.

These suggestive protuberances!

The goggle eyes of a clownfish which protrude straight from the chest area! What more can I say that will convince you this is an extremely disgusting interpretation of an otherwise moral tale.

I hate to know how they show the sea cucumber.

I call on you to protest against this, and to protect your children from such filthy images. Children should not think of fish in this way.

I is truly horrified.

Thursday, 19 July 2007

Friends For Friendless

My very good blogger friend Friendless (hmmm?) posted recently that he missed the many pictures that used to pervade prudesmission. He complained that "Mr Jumbles just didn't do it for him any more." In light of that, I am now going to put up many pictures. They are from that enlightened website Club Penguin. I could think of nowhere else where you could meet happier and more jolly penguin friends.

I am thinking, these are very good and they certainly are making me feel tingly and happy.

Though I am still a big Mr Jumbles fan. What do you think Friendless? An improvement?

Rate your penguin. I rather like the treadmill penguin, and the dancing musical penguin - very graceful. I think it is important for penguins to be fit I rather fancied myself a dancing gymnastics prude at one stage, it is very good for one's body, a healthy and graceful sport until you fall over in mid-cartwheel backwards leap - hmmm hmm. That is a great putter-offer. It can scar one for life especially if the whole school is watching and your gym tunic ....

Oh prude has some dark skeletons in her closet.

Wednesday, 18 July 2007

Club Penguin

Penguins and Purity.

Penguins and Innocence.

The concepts is inextricably linked, and here is the proof of the penguin pudding.

Welcome to Club Penguin

Where you is safe from predators and mummies and daddies make sure no questionable types waddle about.

They say it is like a MySpace without the adults and sex and bullying and with the penguins. I mean, there is no disadvantages and much advantages. The people who created this chose the penguin symbol.

Now, was it a conscious decision?

The penguin stand for all that is good and pure, the defender of a website as Mr Jumbles ardently defends mine from fools and cruel beings, with a passion and nobility only he have. Oh, and I have.

Some of my detractors will say "Prude, it were a random choice. Just picked an animal. Any animal."

I will say it was not. Even if the choice were not deliberate it were subconscious because the knowledge that the penguin stand for the pure in our hearts is deep within our souls. Look for it. It is there. Join Club Penguin and bring out the penguin in yourself.

Thursday, 5 July 2007

Non-Prude Employment Opportunities

I has advocated penguin saving and penguin charity collecting. I has told people of the good of advocating chastity. Actually I do not think it would be a bad thing to become a surgeon if castration were a learnt art. It may stop some men going where it were not belonged. For some men I think it is the only way, they has not the self restraint otherwise.

However there is a knew job out that is trying to undo all my good work and I thinks they should be told off. Really. They is advocating the jiggety jig. And even making a competition out of it! It is a condom testing job and you get free products as payment. Hmmm. And since it is in testing stage you realise you may get some undesirable freebies out of it too, you know.

Anyhow, is that how it is rated, if you come back with undesirable freebies you rate it bad and they say sorry you had sextuplets and AIDS but I guess we had a bad condom in the pack - by the way you get some free condoms for your trouble?

Also you will be looked down by all your friends, not just because you is dying soon not just because of AIDS but because it is difficult to support sextuplets, and you is trying to remember six different types of nursery rhymes for them and that is a chore, but also because you has been loose and unchaste and there is real evidence for it now. No hiding. No going back. You is not part of the Virtuous Penguin Prude Society. Shame Shame Shame. And you will have that marking you to your grave.

A roll in the hay and a pack of free rubbers is not worth it.

Condom testing:

You could test to see if they could substitute well as party balloons.
You could test to see if you hang them up outside, they catch enough water on a rainy day to be environmentally friendly.
You could try putting markings on them and using them as substitutes for measuring instruments in the kitchen, 30 millilitres, etc

But to use them as an excuse to ruin your life is a disgrace. Remember, if it's on .... it's not on! And if it's not on ... it's not on either!