Wednesday, 28 February 2007

Happy Feet Is Victorious!!!

In a great victory for both penguinkind and prudekind, the remarkable movie 'Happy Feet' has been recognised by the Academy Awards as the best animated picture.

I has four words for you.


Penguins is high moral creatures. People had to recognise this superiority sometime. There time has come. They has been vindicated. This does not mean their work has been finished, oh no. However it do mean that we has shown the world something - that disbelievers are getting fewer. However we is far from done. Today it is the Academy Awards - next penguin step is the UNIVERSE!

Penguins is truly great. They can do anything.

I celebrate this great occasion with a very happy penguin dance in their honour. How about you?

Friday, 23 February 2007

Thank you for acknowledging the superiority of penguins!

As some avid Sydney Morning Herald bloggers may know, Prude has been insulted sometimes by a few blog-writers who mistakenly think they is above her instead of vice versa. One of these blog-writers is Sam De Brito, writer of the blog All Men Are Liars .


However I has had my victory recently, Mr De Brito has caved in and admitted Prude has been correct all along. In his article Promiscuity: Why Slutting Around Is Good For The Species (a theory Prude of course does NOT subscribe to!) Mr De Brito has pointed out that humans is often rooting around and that monogamy has often been touted as a higher form of living (Note: readers, this is because it is!). He says that some species has naturally evolved not to have the urge to root around and has NATURALLY developed monogamy i.e. the higher form of living.

Unlike humans.

He has pointed out several animals who has moved on to higher evolutionary forms:

Mallard Ducks

Hooray for penguins.

He try to use this argument to say that humans should just have sex all the time instead of avoiding the real question - that we should attempt to evolve into higher beings or imitate them. His argument is silly - it is like saying we should never progress if it do not come at baby stage. I suppose he will never be a great inventor or crusader.

The little he will accomplish in life is the acknowledgement of the evolutionary greatness of the penguin.

*If you would like to congratulate Sam De Brito on his acknowledgement of Prude and encourage this ugly duckling to become a Swan or even better a Penguin, contact him at

So many losers in the search for the inner prude ...

Now, Prude has told you all that there is many trials and tribulations one goes through in the crusade for prudity. It is not an easy battle, but it must be fought for the sake of RIGHTEOUSNESS.

I think that is not a difficult concept for good-thinking people to understand.

A person, I hesitate to call him "friend" for obvious reasons, because his name is Friendless and Prude always go by logic, alerted me to an article in the Sydney Morning Herald which quite rightly conclude that "It is time women seized back their inner prude". Actually it is time for men as well but over 50% is not too bad. Most people do not score so high on the prude scale except myself and Mr Jumbles, I have sadly found.

This article is by a Ms Miranda Devine.

Unfortunately the article has to trawl through a rather grotesque description of sickly sexual descriptions in order to reach this conclusion. Why oh why must we be subjected to this gratuitous stuff? I mean I do not think explicit discussions of crotch-waggling and high-mile-club doings is of importance to the point which is that of the nobility of CHASTITY. And the nobility of CHASTITY is axiomatic.

Not only this but it highlight the important point that young women and old women are not finding out the nobility of chastity until they has first subjugated themselves to the evils of the flesh. They has first to be whores and pornstars before they can be angels and penguins.

So why is it that we must be so lascivious to reach a prudish conclusion? I despair of what this world is coming to. Prude cries for the dearth of goodness in the world.

Oh give her a glass of nice cool milk!

*Those of you who wish to protest to Miranda Devine about the imbalance of dignified reporting and attempts at converting people to the good path versus the descriptions of lascivious acts and explicit sexual references in a site readily accessible to FAMILY VIEWING may contact her at

Sunday, 18 February 2007

Helen Garner And The Meaning Of Everything

This is not the most dignified picture of a penguin I has ever seen, but a book that has a picture of a penguin and "The Meaning of Everything" in the title.

I think it has to be on to something.

Well done Alex Jones. The Meaning Of Everything acknowledges the higher place of penguins in society as noted by lots of people using penguin costumes which ought to be done more often to achieve their higher ends. I myself use a penguin costume. I know what I is talking about!

Friday, 16 February 2007

The True Meaning Of Valentine's Day

What is the true meaning of Valentine's Day? It is TRUE LOVE. However often people's is not thinking about this at all. True love is very caring and altruistic. It is also very dignified. It is as I have said, like that you see when a penguin couple walk side by side. It is all back to the penguins. They are upright, splendid creatures. They do not fawn or giggle. They do not exchange lecherous glances. They is displaying commitment to one another, as a good penguin couple ought.

That is what true love is about.

Unfortunately I did an investigation into true love on Valentine's Day this year (2007 for the not well-adjusted or well-informed) and it seem the human population is not as far ahead in their thinking.

They buy expensive roses and chocolates for Valentine's day. That is not too bad. Prude actually is quite partial to a chocolate herself especially as one main ingredient of chocolate is milk. They is quite sweet and scrumptious. She is not proposing a ban on chocolates by any means.

However the sentiments that goes with them is not all that dignified. Nor is people's behaviour.

They go crazy after red roses. They get a whiff. They see a nicely wrapped bouquet or even a pack of not nicely wrapped bouquets and they go hungry like animals in heat and they rush towards stall sellers, pushing aside peoples i.e. myself and Mr Jumbles in a desperate effort to throw away hundreds of dollars on some wilting red flowers. Hundreds of dollars that could go to a penguin. It is a disgrace.

Then there is the chocolates, usually accompanied by a silly furry animal. Why is it this is a time of year furry animals seem to look stupider than usual? This is a floppy eared rather than perky eared, ragamuffin, disproportionate, sorry excuse for a bunny rabbit if I ever saw one. It is not dignified.

Speaking of dignity, how about the way some even go to treat household pets? We is supposed to be expressing love on this day, not humiliation.

And speaking of humiliation, is this really necessary? I think not. Show some dignity and communicate as normal loving adults. Yes on two separate chairs (each on a different chair I mean) at least two-three metres apart facing one another with hands by sides, good posture please. A modest and dignified pose for easy communication. Each speak in turn.

Friday, 9 February 2007

Two steps forward, one step back

You take two steps forward and one step back, I think the old saying goes. Hmmm. At least that is some progress but not as much as Prude would like. It is hardly noticeable, and often, not noticed at all.

Some time ago I met with my young hopeful Burger Boy. I had great hopes for him, as he gave up drinking and a wild blonde girl to be a better person. Or so I thought.

Now I see him chomping on a burger and I say, "How is your celibacy going young reformed man?"

"Oh it is YOU prude" he say. Thit is the way he usually greet me, I think it has become somewhat of a signature. He does not even look up from his burger.

"Want some burger, it has PENGUIN in it," he say.

"You are a disgusting immoral boy! Stop laughing, penguin burger is no laughing matter. Spit it out immediately. If I shall go insane and be locked up I shall say you is the one who done it!"

"Really?" He look up. "Hmmm, that is some motivation."

"I is stronger than that," I say primly. "How is your celibacy going bad Burger Boy?"

"It is gone. Long time ago. Didn't stick around for long." He laugh a lot. Then he get up from the table and walk off to ride his motorbike (I perceive he did not even wear a helmet which is very unsafe. It may also be a metaphor).

It take a long time to reform them. However I shall not stop trying.

He leave behind the bits of burger.

Is that what penguin meat really look like? It look very similar to a beef pattie.

Wednesday, 7 February 2007

Penguin, Lettuce And Tomato

Someone is tormenting me.

I has been tormented by some person whose name I shall not dignify, but who follows me about and talks to me about turning the penguin into food. Penguin Sushi. Penguin Roasts. Penguin, Lettuce And Tomato Burgers. Penguin Kebabs.

It give a person with morals nightmares!

Mr Jumbles say:

It is tasteless.

Thursday, 1 February 2007


Why is it Prude is a word of such wholesomeness, beauty, majesty, divinity yet it rhme with such things as

dude (one of the most gross words in English language)

etc which has not such splendidness about them?

Either way it lead to cruel poetry.

A Disgrace To My Honourable Name

I has been web-browsing and come across ths blog, created by a being who calls itself The Prude.

Quite frankly the blog is a mockery of prudekind. Its creator is not a real prude like myself, and I think - in fact I know - it has soiled the good name of prudery by using that name to create such a blog. I wonder how it dare do such a thing. But some people have no morals. Like penguin hunters and strippers. And now, like this creator of The Prude.

This blog has written on it "well, I guess there aren't really any fans yet" hmmm, I wonder why, perhaps because you is immoral!

Perhaps you would have a greater following if you were a good person and followed the path of right-living and morality like myself (and Mr Jumbles). What's more they would be worthy types of people being your fans. Bonuses everywhere.

Also, this site simply have a lot of scary pictures of pirates on it. Pirates. Pirates are not good moral creatures like penguins. Perhaps they love parrots which is a saving grace. But that eye-patch thing and the walk-the-plank idea is not very moral. Also the laugh - hardy-har-har - is not pleasnt. Overall I do not give them a high dinity rating. I think a better role model for people should be given.

Fight the good fight, do not confuse The Prude with Prude, or ThePrudeness with true prudishness, the latter being what you aim to strive towards.