Tuesday, 30 October 2007

Hot Advice from Prude

The weather is hotting up and people is getting sweatier. Daylight saving has set in and that is a sure sign people is getting hot about the collar - literally.

In hot weather, there is always the temptation of human beings to prance about naked in public. They say this is because they is too hot in clothes but often it is a chance to exhibit themselves. You see these people all the time. They is called nudists, disgusting people, or really really hot people.

Unfortunately they is not often really hot HOT people. Mostly those who chooses to walk about in nothing not even a vine leaf tends to be people who the rest of us is not even wanting to ogle. They is usually the old, the wrinkly, the fat, the abnormally ugly. That is what makes this tendency even more disgusting. It is even worse when you remember that hot weather means SWEAT.

But add on to this that any type of prancing about publicly naked is extremely immoral. People should not be making exhibitions of themselves. Nudity is crudity not prudity I say. In fact people should not be showing off their naked bodies even in their own homes. I is always undressing under a towel in a wardrobe locked from the inside when I is at home, even if no one else is in the house. Best to maintain prude habits at all times, then you has no possibility of perhaps lapsing.

But in summer, this do not mean that one cannot be comfortable in hot weather. It simply mean that prudity come first.

Here are some prude tips for going about in hot weather:

You can wear a nice dress that cover up your whole body but it do not need to be of velvet or leather or some such. Cotton is quite all right.
Wear a nice sunhat
Carry a fan
Put an icecube in your drink
Eat an ice cream
Sit in the shade
When you is collecting for a prude charity and one person walks away (it is sad it happens) do not chase after them (this make you hot and sweaty). Call after them "You will regret this missed chance to join prude's mission!" and let it follow them. Move on to the next convert-to-be. That person has gone for now but they will be back with your words ringing in their ears.

It goes without saying that one should not have sex if one is a prude. But remember that sex make you hot, so that is an extra deterrent.

If all else fails you could do as the penguins (those admirable creatures!) do - migrate to Antarctica

Monday, 29 October 2007

The Man has Jumped the Blog

Just a little while ago on a prudey blog-post just a bit further down a blog poster who has been known to us commenters as GT or sometimes as "The Man" which he like to pronounce himself as, spit chips and say he is not coming back here any more, after being a regular Prude-follower for months.

My keen prudey sense say this mean he threaten not to come back the Prude blog, not meaning just to that post.

Poor GT. Little does he realise what is waiting for him in the world of evil without prudey guidance. One day he will come away from those youthful daze of his and say "I wish I had better moral guidance but I shunned those who knew better in favour of a live-it-up fun lifestyle. I thoughts I knew better than those who was older and wiser but that is the folly of youth. Oh to go back and change my decisions!"

It is something many of has said, or will say, except maybe Mr Jumbles.

GT, I wish you well but it is a hard world out there without good strong moral support.

P.S. GT has stomped off suddenly calling Prudey a bigot. I is not sure what he is referring to or why he is so cross about what I has said then. Prude has always speak like this and give these views. Oh youthful temper!

Saturday, 27 October 2007

We all has baggage in life. Just some is more moral baggage than other baggage.

It is a well known fact in life that everyone carries baggage in life. This is an inescapable fact of life. Whether you is a good moral person or a low-life, Mr Jumbles or Burger Boy, you will carry burdens. It has been documented all through history.

At one time people used to have to carry their baggages in little bundles. They used to roll them up in blankets and then double the blankets up for towels and for sleeping on. Now they did not know better but this is pretty repulsive. No wonder they get extra burdens in life and the rest of the human race is soiled. You means you wipe your naughty parts with the same things you wrap your bits of bread and cheese in? It explain a lot about the state of the human race nowadays.

Fortunately humans have become better progressed and we have inherited such burdens from our forebears but we do not have to keep adding to the grime so much. Certainly there is no need to throw some little bits of random hairs into the mix a gifts to the next generation. We has been more advanced in our baggage technology and we should make this our legacy to the future.

Prude is very understanding of this and she has come across the most moral of baggage holders, and indeed baggage, for Prudes to trolley around. It is the Penguin Bag, coming in many models to suit various Prudey needs. It come in Backpacks, Weekenders, Trolleybags, Shoulder bags, produced by Samsonite. What more could you ask for?

Not only is it nice and clean and have separate compartments for your towel and your bread-and-cheese, and it nice and strong, but it pronounce your prudeyness to the world. That in itself is most important. It deliver your message in a swag.

A little backpack may suit your needs, or a set of Penguin Bags for the penguin who has a bit more to carry around. Or who simply revel in a few more penguins around the place.

This is the latest in luggage technology. Embrace a penguin bag, and embrace the future.

Jump on your mission with a penguin on your back!

Tuesday, 23 October 2007

Cheaters, you is just as bad as child molesters!

Someone is taking a moral stance against cheating. And about time too I is thinking. It seem to me some people is thinking it is rather fun and not too bad to be flinging themselves around. But one day you will be flinging too much and you will fall hard and you will not like it much. I guarantee it. Cheating is wrong.

I has heard people go on about how they think it is just all about thrills and living it up. Well great times can be had in life without being an immoral person. I has said to these people, have you not tried dancing and ice cream? Or maybe a nice cookie and a good game of checkers? They has not known how to have a good time without being immoral and that is because they is thinking one thing all the time.

And it is not a good thing.

However I is saying, one place is trying to keep people on the straight and narrow, one place besides Prude's Mission that is. It is the Anglican Church who has now decided to keep a big register of cheats who is in the clergy - will that shame you peoples? I hope so. It is a pity they don't makes it bigger and make it extended to everyone. It will go alongside their paedophile listing. However I guess you finds heaps of paedophiles in the Church so maybe this is a good enough place to start with cheats anyhow. You may find a good number of them here.

Start small and get big. The moral revolution has to starts somewhere.

Meanwhile, I is hoping everyone in the community is feeling that little bit more protected. Perhaps such a register will mean it is less likely your spouse will be flinging off with the local minister.

That can only be a good thing.

Friday, 19 October 2007

Smuggling Budgie Smugglers is Bad for your Health

Well I has always thought Speedos has looked disgusting. They has shown off far too much of a male's bits. Bits which should not be seen, ever. They should be tucked away forever and ever, they should not be known about. I wish I had not known about them but unfortunately someone wore some Speedos and this knowledge was forced upon Prude here.

It is something I is not needing knowledge of.

But if there is ever an additional incentive to not have the budgie smugglers around (hmmm I hope they is not smuggling real budgies in there because I is against such cruelty to animals. If a bird was in that region of the body it would be heinous. And I would be even more outraged if it were a penguin) then it would be this report that explains that Speedos is a health hazard. In fact they is banned in some places. Like Guantanamo Bay. And perhaps the move should be made to ban them in Sydney too.

They is apparently used lots for making nooses from, and people gets hanged lots like that. Well you is thinking that only happens in Cuba? Wrong, there is lots of depressed sad people here who is not needing extra help from Speedos. And lowering the suicide rate is a good thing.

It could be a triple whammy.
  1. People is not committing suicide from making nooses from Speedos
  2. People is not committing suicide from seeing other ugly people in Speedos or realising other people have bits they is not knowing about before
  3. People is not committing suicide from seeing how gross they is looking in Speedos, a grossness that they is not realising before, now extra-emphasised
The major incentive for me will always be they is looking wrong. Suicide or not. However if someone need an extra reason it is nice to have a list for them. Some people need an extra boost to had on the right track.

Wednesday, 17 October 2007

The Virgin Cover

Penguin Books has another great idea: Blank Books.

Well there is a story inside but the cover is blank. In its classic book section.




You is of course able to draw on the cover and personalise it with a good moral picture, so there is none of this half-nudey picture trash that some artists seem apt to like to scrawl on covers. You can make all your front covers penguin heroes and what a joy that will be. Make sure each heroine is wearing a chastity belt and send some good moral messages out there.

Unfortunately there will be some people like Friendless and Burger Boy who will use this opportunity for bad. Such people ought to be stopped from buying blank books in my opinion. In fact it is a wonder they is allowed to roam free in society.

But in the hands of a Prude, a blank book is a thing of beauty, and a joy forever. It is a chance for expression and education. It is a chance to make sure a moral message is passed down to other generations. Prudies may wish to buy blank books for their friends for Christmas, and draw moral messages on them for them as gifts. I am sure they would be appreciating the thought.

What would your moral mesage be? - remember it is your legacy for the future

Tuesday, 16 October 2007

Your Ties Says Something Important About You

It is always important to have great ties in the community.

Polite Prudes Unite

You is thinking to yourself, "I is thinking that Penguin Books (see below competition) is the most moral of books, but which is the most moral Penguin Books of Penguin Books?"

Well, I is thinking that there is a very clear runner in the race. In fact this Penguin is running so far ahead I is thinking not many other penguins will have a chance.

It is with great pleasure I recommend this great work of Penguin Literature, The Penguin Book of Etiquette , a book which give great advice about how a true penguin and a true Prude ought conduct himself and herself and penguinself in public and in private. Nobility, dignity, chastity, integrity and prudity. I is thinking how fine a gem are we honoured to have in this society.

I has nominated it as Prude's favourite Penguin book.

It remind us of some important dicta "Courtesy is not just for special people and special occasions, it's for everyone, every day."

A Prude should conduct its prudeself in a becoming way at all times not just on Melbourne Cup Day and days like that. It should also be remembered that Chastity is not just for special people and for special occasions too. It is not just for monks and nuns and not just for every third Wednesday. It is for every single day and it is to be celebrated. Like courtesy if we is to extend chastity to every part of our lives we is to be respected for it. I thinks this is the Etiquette Book message.

Mr Jumbles is nodding his head in agreement and cannot wait to read another page of this wholesome book. That is a recommendation in itself.

Be polite, prudies, and unite. Banners for modern manners!

Saturday, 13 October 2007

Win a Very Moral Penguin Package!

Now I is not usually one for advocating competitions as most things I believe is the product of hard work and lots of charity-work and chastity. However I do think this is one that is too important to pass up and it will enhance your bookcase for the better if you is winning it, also if you goes to this website you will be seeing some very upright logos which is a good thing in itself.
It is a Penguin Package Competition. Unfortunately you do not win a real penguin, but you can win a book package for penguin books which is inferior to an actual penguin but still very moral.
I has already entered the competition but I urge you to also.

Penguin books is a great book publishing company.

If I was to write a Prude Book (which I is thinking of doing by the way. Any good titles I is open to hearing about) they would have the honour of receiving my manuscript first. And oh what an honour that would be.

Also I would like to remind you all that at the moment Borders books is having Penguin and Puffin (the little penguins) books at 20% off now. This is a great chance to get some more penguins into your house, and that is always a good thing.
Good luck penguin lovers and prude-followers and let me know of your great successes with penguin-obtaining!