Tuesday, 16 October 2007

Polite Prudes Unite

You is thinking to yourself, "I is thinking that Penguin Books (see below competition) is the most moral of books, but which is the most moral Penguin Books of Penguin Books?"

Well, I is thinking that there is a very clear runner in the race. In fact this Penguin is running so far ahead I is thinking not many other penguins will have a chance.

It is with great pleasure I recommend this great work of Penguin Literature, The Penguin Book of Etiquette , a book which give great advice about how a true penguin and a true Prude ought conduct himself and herself and penguinself in public and in private. Nobility, dignity, chastity, integrity and prudity. I is thinking how fine a gem are we honoured to have in this society.

I has nominated it as Prude's favourite Penguin book.

It remind us of some important dicta "Courtesy is not just for special people and special occasions, it's for everyone, every day."

A Prude should conduct its prudeself in a becoming way at all times not just on Melbourne Cup Day and days like that. It should also be remembered that Chastity is not just for special people and for special occasions too. It is not just for monks and nuns and not just for every third Wednesday. It is for every single day and it is to be celebrated. Like courtesy if we is to extend chastity to every part of our lives we is to be respected for it. I thinks this is the Etiquette Book message.

Mr Jumbles is nodding his head in agreement and cannot wait to read another page of this wholesome book. That is a recommendation in itself.

Be polite, prudies, and unite. Banners for modern manners!


Friendless said...

My favourite book is "Lady Chatterley's Penguin Whorehouse". It's hard to find these days.

Maria said...

You could be on the wrong post, friendless - try the post below on the penguin competition.

Let's see what you can come up with in 25 words or less, describing how you love the Lady Chatterley's Penguin Whorehouse book. Get back to us if you win!

prude said...

I thinks you will find there was a very moral court case called, I thinks the Penguins Against Lady Chatterley which was all about the Penguins suing Lady Chatterley because she was telling lies about them. What's more she had the indignity to try to ask the penguins to pay costs for the chandeliers and whips and things they never use. The disgrace of it all! Whorehouse indeed! How could anyones believe a penguin would do such a thing!

A law was passed that Lady Chatterley was not to mock penguins by putting misleading pictures of penguins in G-strings outside her hmmm house.

The penguins celebrated victory by sourcing as many copies of her pagan book as possible and doing a penguin dance of glee about a bonfire of it. then theys has a glass of good fine milk.

That is what i remember of penguin history.

That is also why it is not an easy book to find.

And a good things too.

Polluting young minds is NOT a good thing. Nurture, not pollute Friendless. Sometimes I wonder if youse is understanding of the difference.

Meribah said...

Mmmmm, milk! Goes good with cookies!

prude said...

Milk! Goes good with everything!

Milk Milk for all it is worth!