Tuesday, 30 October 2007

Hot Advice from Prude

The weather is hotting up and people is getting sweatier. Daylight saving has set in and that is a sure sign people is getting hot about the collar - literally.

In hot weather, there is always the temptation of human beings to prance about naked in public. They say this is because they is too hot in clothes but often it is a chance to exhibit themselves. You see these people all the time. They is called nudists, disgusting people, or really really hot people.

Unfortunately they is not often really hot HOT people. Mostly those who chooses to walk about in nothing not even a vine leaf tends to be people who the rest of us is not even wanting to ogle. They is usually the old, the wrinkly, the fat, the abnormally ugly. That is what makes this tendency even more disgusting. It is even worse when you remember that hot weather means SWEAT.

But add on to this that any type of prancing about publicly naked is extremely immoral. People should not be making exhibitions of themselves. Nudity is crudity not prudity I say. In fact people should not be showing off their naked bodies even in their own homes. I is always undressing under a towel in a wardrobe locked from the inside when I is at home, even if no one else is in the house. Best to maintain prude habits at all times, then you has no possibility of perhaps lapsing.

But in summer, this do not mean that one cannot be comfortable in hot weather. It simply mean that prudity come first.

Here are some prude tips for going about in hot weather:

You can wear a nice dress that cover up your whole body but it do not need to be of velvet or leather or some such. Cotton is quite all right.
Wear a nice sunhat
Carry a fan
Put an icecube in your drink
Eat an ice cream
Sit in the shade
When you is collecting for a prude charity and one person walks away (it is sad it happens) do not chase after them (this make you hot and sweaty). Call after them "You will regret this missed chance to join prude's mission!" and let it follow them. Move on to the next convert-to-be. That person has gone for now but they will be back with your words ringing in their ears.

It goes without saying that one should not have sex if one is a prude. But remember that sex make you hot, so that is an extra deterrent.

If all else fails you could do as the penguins (those admirable creatures!) do - migrate to Antarctica


Meribah said...

I have sensitive skin (and a fear of getting skin cancer) so I tend to wear long-sleeved shirts and ankle-length skirts in the summer. Despite what people may think, it actually helps me to stay cool. As my Dad likes to say, what keeps the cold out, in the winter, will keep the hot out, in the summer! :)

prude said...

You has a sensible father meribah.

I likes to say. "What keeps you prude in winter, will keeps you prude in summer!"

And it keeps sex-minded people away all year long!

Friendless said...

Prude, I don't like to prance about naked. Prancing is not really my style. When I'm naked, I much prefer to wallow. I can send photos to illustrate if you like.

prude said...

I has been ruminating and I think there is not a really polite way to say it:

No no take your wallowing photos and get a thousand kilometres away from me and take those photos and put themm somewhre where the sun will never shine and then penguins and the innocent prudes will never look!


Friendless said...

That's actually one of the most polite responses I've had to that offer. Most bloggers are pretty intolerant it seems.

prude said...

Hmmm. I was brought up to be a tolerant person friendless.

Unfortunately I was not told as a Litte Prude that would mean having to tolerate the likes of you!

You is a trial!