Friday, 19 October 2007

Smuggling Budgie Smugglers is Bad for your Health

Well I has always thought Speedos has looked disgusting. They has shown off far too much of a male's bits. Bits which should not be seen, ever. They should be tucked away forever and ever, they should not be known about. I wish I had not known about them but unfortunately someone wore some Speedos and this knowledge was forced upon Prude here.

It is something I is not needing knowledge of.

But if there is ever an additional incentive to not have the budgie smugglers around (hmmm I hope they is not smuggling real budgies in there because I is against such cruelty to animals. If a bird was in that region of the body it would be heinous. And I would be even more outraged if it were a penguin) then it would be this report that explains that Speedos is a health hazard. In fact they is banned in some places. Like Guantanamo Bay. And perhaps the move should be made to ban them in Sydney too.

They is apparently used lots for making nooses from, and people gets hanged lots like that. Well you is thinking that only happens in Cuba? Wrong, there is lots of depressed sad people here who is not needing extra help from Speedos. And lowering the suicide rate is a good thing.

It could be a triple whammy.
  1. People is not committing suicide from making nooses from Speedos
  2. People is not committing suicide from seeing other ugly people in Speedos or realising other people have bits they is not knowing about before
  3. People is not committing suicide from seeing how gross they is looking in Speedos, a grossness that they is not realising before, now extra-emphasised
The major incentive for me will always be they is looking wrong. Suicide or not. However if someone need an extra reason it is nice to have a list for them. Some people need an extra boost to had on the right track.


Meribah said...

Speedos??? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! I don't think ANY man looks good in those!

prude said...

You is headed on the right track.

First start with repulsion.

Then introduce prudity.

The traditional prude program.

Friendless said...

Even women don't look good in them.

prude said...

Please do not post a pic of you in Speedos I beg of you friendless. This is a moral blog.

righteous said...

Aaah the smudgie, that item of apparel that, for the middle-aged man, is the cheap equivalent of a sports car in the mid-life crisis stakes. That is, you can strut around the pool deck between the change room and the water, showing off bulges and fooling yourself that they are ALL in the right place. And that the much younger woman who just walked past you was taking a secret admiring peek.

Anonymous said...

Hey Meriabah: if you don't like a man in speedos, how do you tolerate the sight of him naked?