Wednesday, 9 January 2008

P&O = Perverts and Oglers

P&O has brought disgrace to its name once again with the latest in scandals. But then what else do you expect from a cruise ship which runs such filthy ads with the slogan "SEAMEN WANTED" and a picture of slutty women lazing about on board? I think it is very much provocative and they is showing off bad values.

If anyone is wanting a good time, a really good time, they would not be boarding on one of these ships, because these ships is giving you an assaulting and insulting time. Why peoples buy into them, I do not know. They jump aboard and then cry when they is had sex with. It is like jumping on glass and crying that you has been bleeding.

I thinks the only reason one should jump aboard a P&O ship is to pull it apart and shout hurrah! It is a hull of decrepit and nasty behaviour. What with rapists and paedophiles lurking in every hatch, or so the newspapers report it, it seem.

A PrudeCruise would never allow such activities to take place. Activities would include guided tours and penguin spotting and organised penguin dances and marches, and all staff would personally check that chastity belts were in place for extra protection of passengers. It would be our insurance policy. It is a pity P&O do not follow some basic Prude guidelines like that, and instead of having a drunken raving defiled mob they could have an ordered group with healthy, pure clean prudey fun.

There is some who would say "What, no alcohol, no sex, that's no fun?" but if you was Diane Brimble would you say I would like to be watching a Penguin Play with my chastity belt on alive, or be raped and drugged and dead by boozed up fools - I ask you? It is obvious sex and alcohol lead to no good, especially at high seas - I think it has soething to do with the rollicking sway but I has not done my scientific investigation into it.

P.S. If anyone would like to take part in a Prude investigation in how high seas affect people's stupidity I is happy to talk to prospective volunteers. It is something I may be looking at. Some will be allowed to booze and have sex a lot, others to wear chastity belts and watch penguins. All will be taken on a cruise. Prude will observe their behaviour closely and take notes.


Friendless said...

I know you're just trying to trap me, Prude. How about I do the boozing and sex on my own time and send you photos? I know if you get your flippers on me you'll dress me in a chastity belt and post the pictures on the internet.

R.H. said...

Sexy Prude.

Meribah said...

Hmmm, I dunno, Prude...are you sure you want to get close enough to boozers and sex-addicts to observe them? They might try to suck you into their scandalous ways!
On the other paw, it might be worth it to see Friendless in a chastity belt! LOL :P

prude said...

I thinks I am impervious to such things, Meribah!

Friendless, I would like to knows you is wearing a Chastity Belt, but I can be spared the sight. I thinks. Hmmm. On the other hand if I do not look I will have to cop feel to check it is on properly so I guess perhaps I may have to open my peepers.

I will get you one day Friendless and the chastity belt shall be clamped on!

R.H. ... I thinks you has meant well .... I is sure that some other blogger may takes that as a compliment but I thinks you has not properly acquainted yourself with Prudey yet. I shall have to write a blog post about that. Coming up.