Wednesday, 2 January 2008

Down with Drunks!

It is 2008 now and today I was about town.

Straight after Christmas there was an attack on stores, with everyone grabbing their hands on cheap TVs and linen sets and silly-priced T-shirts. I do not do such undignified things as involve myself in the "Christmas crush" but I did saunter in and have a ruffle through some bargains. I found myself some lovely oven mitts, just right for when I do my baking and like to keep my paws clean and pure, and a black parasol with white trimming. This is the penguin parasol you knows! Penguin coolours, and very dainty and proper! It will keeps the sun out in the suny days and the rain off in the rainy days and just right when I am out on my charity collecting and converting missions.

So I was very pleased with my purchases.

However, today, and even more so yesterday, there was not nearly as many souls in sight. And you knows why?

No, it was not because the sales has all disappeared. There was many a bargain sock and a lacy parasol to be found, not to mention all those bargain rolls of Christmas wrappings and Santa teddies to be going for cheap (I scooped several; they will do for next Christmas). And there was stores open on New Year's in the City.

It was because many a potential shopper was writhing in bed because of a HANGOVER.

This is, sadly, because on NYE certain people was out partying til late and drinking far too much. That is the sad state of Aussies today and sadder still, they actually believe they can hold the alcohol. They do not realise they become idiot incomprehensible nincompoops with weak bladders after they down a few drinks. And while for some that is their normal state, for many it is a state induced by ALCOHOL - the evil.

And the hangover is persisting til today.

It is very immoral for them to do so and they shoulds be taught a lesson. I advise all moral peoples to teach such disgusting revellers a lesson. Go to your stores sober after New Year's Eve and scoop all the good bargains and leave signs saying HA HA HA GOT HERE BEFORE YOU DRUNK as you buy it. Serves them right and perhaps they will sober up!


TimT said...

Those people shouldn't get high on drugs. They should get high on LIFE!

Why, on New Year's day I was reading such moral books as 'The Joy of Sexlessness' and '101 Positions Not To Use in Bed' while sipping an ethically appropriate dose of lemonade, with the bubbles surgically removed by an Anglican priest. Now there's an example to follow!

prude said...

TimT, more should follow your example. I is thinking of introducing a way to surgically remove all balls from ball games. And those tight looking swim suits in the water sports is another thing to grapple with.

TimT said...

I am not sure removing the swim suits would be a good idea. And grappling with the water sports players, in or out of swim suits, could lead to all sorts of shenanigans.

Meribah said...

Fortunately, the puppy does not drink, so no hangovers! :)