Friday, 4 January 2008

The Return of the Sexy Underwear - Not!

Now that it is early in the New Year, this is the time when people are doing two things - buying heaps of cheap bargains because they didn't get whats they wanted for Christmas, and trying to return lots of unwanted presents, because they didn't gets what they wanted for Christmas.

Prude was certain peoples knows what type of person she is, and would buy ethically and appropriately for her. After all she explain it clear enough on her blog and explain it loud enough in the street. WHat do she need extra, a megaphone? In fact perhaps one of those may have come in handy, but no one bought one for her this Christmas. Strange.

However, someone DID buy her something rather inappropriate.

She pull off the shiny paper on Christmas and horror of horrors she receive a most shocking gift and she nearly faint. It is a pity no one get her smelling salts this year. She may have to request them next year in case a disaster like this happen again.

It was, of all filths - SEXY UNDERWEAR!

Prude would not be caught dead in sexy underwear. That has been a direct order, given to those in charge of funeral direction. She most certainly would not be caught alive in such frivolous immoral stuff. That stuff belong on Britney Spears - when she remember to wear them.

So of course Prude took them back to the store for exchange, though it cause her some embarrassment to be in such a store and to have to pull such immoral stuff from a plastic bag. I tell you, I feel soiled doing such a thing.

I say, "Someone bought your immoral filth thinking I would inhabit such a thing. I wish not to be associated with you or your product. I wish to have my moneys back please."

I think I said it in a very polite and dignified way.

The saleswoman say, "Hmmm, it is our policy not to refund for lingerie."

"Whats?"

"Look at the sign. You cannot refund for swimwear or lingerie. It is policy."

"But why? I do not want to be any part of your disgusting industry!"

"It is for hygiene purposes. Now if it were a jacket or scarf, perhaps ..."

"But it is taking great advantage! Swimwear and lingerie are your most immoral products! youse wish to palm them off and say no take back? And what is this about hygiene? Is you saying I is dirty? You is the dirty filthy ones! You is the one palming off these skimpy little .... things!"

"I has told you our policy. We cannot refund for hygiene reasons"

"I has never worn them! They has never touched my skin! Even if I had worn them I has a chastity belt on which would make it very hygienic! What is this twaddle you is palming off to me! I demand my money back!"

"I cannot."

She was like a robot. She cannot say anything but policy, policy, policy. She has no compassion or understanding for my plight. In the end I takes the skimpy things and I say to her, "Then YOUSE have it, you obviously immoral person! They would suit YOU very well!"

Funnily enough she look quite pleased.

5 comments:

Meribah said...

So who was the culprit this time...Friendless or Burger Boy? LOL :P

Friendless said...

Prude, I will pay you to send your used underwear to me. Also, read your email.

prude said...

You is sounding like one of those dirty Japanese men with their fetishes, friendless!

prude said...

P.S. Thank you for email Friendless

Mens Underwear said...

Its a great post..well done..i really like it..