Tuesday, 27 March 2007

Prudey Penguin Politics

Aaaah! The election is over and I had not seen one candidate standing for good strong prudey values. In fact I had not seen one candidate standing for anything much. If Mr Jumbles was a politician, I would have voted for him, but he could not be a politician.

"Prude," he say to me, "Nowadays, being a politician is undignified. It is also unchaste!"

He is right of course. Look at Bill Clinton and Pauline Hanson. Whatever happened to the days when the most bad thing you could do in politics was chop off a few heads? Now it is bedding whoever knows who and dirtying your moral character. It is disgusting. No wonder penguins do not stand for election.

Now, a Senator wrote to me recently, touting some moral standpoint (ha! These are usually the first to crumble. Apart from prude, few can held onto their morals in the face of public opposition and the temptation of great powers, like this blog give me!)

He write (this is Senator Steve Fielding of Family First) that this is one of his aims:

No one in government is responsible for TV ads. It appears no one in the Howard Government is responsible for what our kids see on TV. Recently FAMILY FIRST quizzed Ministers trying to find out who is responsible for TV advertising and standards. Raunchy evening TV ads promote phone sex, dating services and lewd mobile phone screensavers and FAMILY FIRST wants to know how such smut and filth is allowed.

Hmmm, Mr Fielding has admirable intentions however he goes not far enough.

Prude's agenda for TV standards:

It is not enough to just know who is responsible and find out what is allowed. Who care how much is allowed, just get this gross disgusting filth off our screens. This is like instead of vacuuming your floor you ask the carpet how much dust it allows. Instead whoever is responsible should be sentenced to ten years of listening to karaoke, that should fix him/her.

Then there should also be some good shows on about the majesty of penguins and a morning show on penguin dance limber-up exercises. It would improve society no end.

No wonder elections are a waste of time.


Friendless said...

Prude, if you want to get Mr Jumbles some penguin friends, I recommend purchasing this game:


I'm not sure where else in Australia you could get it.

arturo said...


see my website! i am very surprised


prude said...

I has typed in the URL arturo.

I has seen the little penguin logo.

It is not surprise I is greeted with. It is the great feeling of ... what should I call it.

That we is brought together by greater powers .... destiny.

Penguins is prudeness.

Prudeyness is penguinness.

It is all part of the Great Penguin's Inextricable Plan for Us. You did not choose that logo. It were chosen for you. Accept it as have I.